...all i want is you.

-- Thursday, July 24, 2003 --

still on hiatus, definitely. i just realized how retarded this looks on a higher resolution... but meh. shouldnt really matter to me. i have much to worry about as it is.

i would like to say how much i miss everyone. i miss all of you dearly. lately, i have been to tired to even write. i feel like there's no point anymore. i guess it is good that i havent cried since three days ago. but i still feel bad. mom blames me for everything, but then again it really is all my fault. me and my big mouth. yeah. i could definitely say that again.

summer school's bad. i couldnt concentrate again. since i found out about that thing, my mind has been flying off again. it isnt good cause i've already failed a dozen quizes. i really am studying hard. but nothing stays in my head, and i fail anyways. i'd be lucky if i get a 50%. but its good. my mind gets off of things cause lawrie and eric are just wonderful. they make me laugh so much i forget i must cry. but it still hurts. and it burns. and i want to run and hide... or tell someone... but i cant cause that's what has caused this whole mess. i get home from school, mom bitches at me. gramma bitches at me. everyone's bitching at me and looking down at me. well im sorry! i dont even know what ive done! i dont even know what ive told them! all i know is that i was depressed and i wasnt thinking straight... im sorry.

so many bad things in my head. too many. my head keeps hurting. and i feel like im gonna hurl. i wish i just faint. and maybe never wake up. just when i thought things are gonna get better... they refuse to. *sigh*

mused dettie at 11:39 PM [+]
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