...all i want is you.

-- Thursday, August 29, 2002 --

when all things seem desperate... well... as they say... desperate times call for desperate measures. when the modem screwed up, well, i felt so miserable coz, well i'd die without i-net~! [laugh] i tried to be so optimistic about things, but well, considering things will be oh so different by tuesday, since, well school starts... [sigh] you get the point right? yeah... i decided to be as desperate as i am now. im at my gramma's for goodness' sake. i dowanna get an encounter with oh so hated father. so here here. things are good, if not better. despite the conditions im currently in. damn school! its not started yet but im already having a pre-stressful syndrome for a pretty much, extremely stressful year. how dramatic. very much like me. very much engulfed in drama hahahaha~

charmy, im so glad i got to talk to u yesterday. hmmm... anyway, yeah. i miss evvyone.
charisse, im so so sorry... i didnt read it yet. i promise i'd read it once i get evvything in place. i mean my i-net back, and i can bear seeing my dad's face. in anycase, i cant right now, and this pc im using is so whacked. so sorry.
patty, i'll call this weekend. promise promise! well, bet u had fun staying out till 4am. ^^ well, in anywcase, i'll call sunday k? kasi saturday, my sister and i are set on a date with toni to see vin diesel, and go shopping for school shtuff.
ate lek, kelan ka lilipat? la lng miss yoo! well, about gela's link, ewan ko. it works nmn eh.
tricia, miss u lots... hmm wala na ko masabi.
nikzter~! miss u na.... really really do. hmmm...^^v
abe, nde ko maaccess email ko right now for some reason. i'll just give u the link when i get my decent inet back. k? aaah school starts tuesday. please wish me luck.
i got to talk to gail, ria and ate anne before i lost my inet. which is a good thing... coz i issed them terribly. haaaay....
i didnt know nyawie was back at geocities... eek. and i kept checkin' out beyond the mist... too bad... hahaha i changed the link nmn eh... and yah...
music awards na mamaya... my sister's flippin over eminem. ladidaa. hmmm... i feel so bad right now. i dont know why. eek~! oh, did i mention i got my hair cut? my hair is short yet again!!!!! woo~!!!!! its neck length. and its just right. heehee. its so hot. haaaaaay.
hmmm.... hey hey matt. where were u friday? didnt talk to u since hehheh... and charmy told me u were looking for me last sunday, or so. how nice of you. thanks~! thoughts of you too.

--dette

mused dettie at 5:46 PM [+]
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hmm... since im online, i better take advantage.

hmmm. u got ur what thingie??? @ charmy. teka... who's the BI to who? ang labo mo nmn kasing magblog eh. details nga. ate lek~! sorry di ko nagblog this weekend. eh nagiba yung modem ko eh. peste nga. kaya i'd be on hiatus for a few. or i'd get a dialup. bwahahaah~ ria~! graaabeee i missed yoo talga... i know nasabi ko na nga... eh sa namiss ko yung tao eh... so there! charmy uli... related ba sakin yung bad influence issue? sino may sabi na ano sa ano yung ano? ack~ lol. tricia's back~! woo~!!!! happy back trish! charisse, sorry i didnt read ur updates on the pd and hp fics yet... id read them now if i can stay on longer. did i mention i want a tablet? yah. i want one!!!!! im obssessing over drawing with my beloved pc. hahahaha~ sino pa ba nakalimutan ko? raine!!!!! wala lng. kakamiss ka!! hmmm... mark's done with 7 and that's the one when i was born... wonder if he updated it? i miss gela and 'bina, and leelee...and yuki-sama was back nga pala... woo~! hmmm... may nkalimutan ba me? i feel lazy bout blogging sa bluestrik3r. hmm... too bad. i might blog soon... blah. wait~!!!!! my mom said i'd get my hair cut!!!! err... chin length daw. that's ok. atleast i'd get rid of atleast 8 inches worth of hair. woo~! may nakalimutan ba ko? if u need anything, email me with this eadd. strangerchick_mojari@msn.com kasi i cant assure na hindi ma ppuno ng spam mails yung hotmail. so yanuse the comments section na din... kasi if u leave messages thru the taggy, the messages would be gone if ten messages or so are posted. eek~ so yah. ok. im sleepy. i just woke up kasi. i think i saw charmy log on kanina nga pala... kaso i had to sign off na eh. sayang. bwisit kasing bata yun eh!!!!!! llunurin ko na talaga.... he's 2, and he cant say a word. poor thing. he didnt want to sleep on the bed na din. eek~! la na ... back to hiatus.

mused dettie at 12:32 PM [+]
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i cant blog much these coming days... and i havent been blogging much for a few days na din... kasi, my modem's screwed up yata... la lang. and im at my gramma's place kasi she needs help daw. sensya na muna sa mga nagbabasa ng blog ko! i'll be on a temporary HIATUS. please do understand. i'll explain more when i get back on my online track.

plus... i better steer clear of things that mess with my sanity. blah blah blah jk!

mused dettie at 10:49 AM [+]
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sleepless?

mused dettie at 1:20 AM [+]
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lol i blogged a sick memory sa kabila. lol. oh, i'll emal u it abe. grabe yun. ack.

mused dettie at 12:56 AM [+]
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in any case, if u'd be somehow interested to know, i have been bron. yepp. mark's working on the family fic, and its all great. now, i found out who my mom is. and yeah. im born na! lol. aliw nga eh. kaso im wondrin' how'll we find out na god lagrosa is my brother, and aeon will be my step brio? eek!

talked to ate anne. la lng. mushy talk parin. lol. ladidaa. hhmm. i dont feel like posting sa kabila. hmm. me ankle's getting better!

mused dettie at 11:50 PM [+]
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woo~! here is a thing yoo might want to see. hahahahaha~

Green You are a very calm and contempative person. Others are drawn to your peaceful, nurturing nature. Find out your color at Stvlive.com!

mused dettie at 6:57 PM [+]
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woo~! some dood person was beiiiiing mean too meeee~! eek me so hyped. typed too muchie vowelz. eek! ooooh yah! viczter~ ... oh oh. heeeeey la lang. ya abe i'll give u it. ^^

mused dettie at 12:57 PM [+]
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hmm. what do u guys think of eugene for a girl's name? opinions in the comments section please. they're the adorable smileys.

yappyapp! viczter ish back after being gone since late march! i missed her so much! wb siz! lab j00 and missed j00 lotz! ^^ charisse got the url to the other blog. ok. so now, 2 trusty people gotz the url. ^^ waii! if u want it, ask for it. i might give u it if i wanna give u it. ^^ IF I WANT TO~!!!!! hmm. i said i'd change my background sound in that blog, but hecks. i gotz lazy. im gonna drink some coke and settle in the bed thinking of that mofo. **yahh matty's word. wellz he used confuzzled too~!** god. and he thought id buy that he's bee. he didnt say anything about my email!!!! and... he didnt react to the code. how am i gonna believe that pphr33k? duh. hmm. kev called kanina. my cuzin. and yah. hahahaha. and my ankle hurts. did i mention i had a clumsy moment yesterday and hurt my ankle? how u ask? well, i carried the baby's playpen downstairs. kaso, i nearly dropped it. i tried to keep it from falling, but i took a wrong step, and twisted my ankle. i fell over and hurt myself bad. it wasnt really achey then, but god this morning it was so swollen and it hurts like hell. pays to be clumsy. yah. some d00d will laugh at me and say im just being cute again. yeah. u know how mean he is? he thinks girls who cry are cute. girls who cry when some d00d hurt them in a certain way are cute! he's one sick monkey. =Þ he loves ayumi too tho. i love ayumi! not that way tho. still. ladidaa. he was being mushy kanina then he was saying sorry for being a mushy d00d and he said i prob'lly was laughing at him na. lol. kakatuwa. hahahaha. and he thought he was talkin' to my mom. hahahaha.

mused dettie at 12:26 AM [+]
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... damn my other blog server's on downtime. hay~

mused dettie at 12:48 AM [+]
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Oh, thinking about all our younger years... There was only you and me. We were young, and wild, and free... Now nothing can take you away from me. We've been down that road before, but that's over now. You keep me coming back for more...
Baby, you're all that I want, and you're lying here in my arms. I'm finding it hard to believe we're in heaven. Love is all that I need, and I found it there in your heart. It isn't too hard to see we're in heaven....
Oh, once in your life you'll find someone.who will turn your world around, pick you up when your feeling down. Now nothing could change what you mean to me. There's a lot that I could say, but just hold me now. 'Cause our love will light the way...
Baby, you're all that I want, and you're lying here in my arms. I'm finding it hard to believe we're in heaven. Love is all that I need, and I found it there in your heart. It isn't too hard to see we're in heaven....
I've been waiting for so long for something to arrive, for love to come along... Now our dreams are coming true through the good times and the bad. I'll be standing there by you...
Baby, you're all that I want, and you're lying here in my arms. I'm finding it hard to believe we're in heaven. Love is all that I need, and I found it there in your heart. It isn't too hard to see we're in heaven....
--Heaven

mused dettie at 12:03 AM [+]
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-- from kabalarians.com yeah... if u want ur name and shtuff. blaaahahahah.

mused dettie at 6:38 PM [+]
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Dear [your name here]
It's been a long time... Vvery long time since I've heard your voice and I bet she never thought I was so sorry... So? I've had a hard time! Very hard time seeing less of you... I never thought you knew.... So, can you see? You're seeing less of me, darling, and you're blind to the fact that my heart stopped beating... --and I'm as good as dead.

Dear [**I forgot your name again**]
Just picking up where I left off... Oh yeah... This is the part where you leave me... So sorry... So? I've had a hard time. Very hard time seeing less of you... I never thought you knew.... So can you see? You're seeing less of me, darling. --And you're blind to the fact that my heart stopped beating... and I'm as good as dead. This is all I have to say.

Sincerely,
me

mused dettie at 10:24 PM [+]
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hi u guyz~ i guess i wont be blogging as much on this.. la lang. i'd still be blogging, pero not as much. ha~y. my good friends might get the new url, ^^ hoowell. im lazy.... argh... ive been here at gramma's for almost 3 days na. kakaloko. ok ja ne!

mused dettie at 5:46 PM [+]
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lalal my cuzin said he was on the trunk and he fell asleep then they went to church and they forgot to let him out of the trunk. lalala ahahahahaha
i gots a xanga thingie~ bwah~ la lng. nywayz, err... yeah. hehee... ill post the survey whens i gets home~~~ wee~

mused dettie at 6:37 PM [+]
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i think i should work on unleashed-8 na. hoowell. anyways, im free~~~~~ lalalalala~ i knw it i knew it!!!!! wee~~~! sbi na kasi eh. oh, di tama nga ako? wahahaha~! sabi ko kasi senyo eh. ahahaha!!!! wahahahaha... di napatunayan na na tama nga ako!!!! sabi ko nga, i know too well than to u know. better not mention na~ ahaha! basta~! im free~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hey, sheck this neat comic site~! hehheh. funny stuff~ ladidaa~

mused dettie at 9:09 PM [+]
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ladidaa~~~~~ im weirded. i better get ofline before something goes bonkers on me again..

mused dettie at 1:29 PM [+]
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oh. i forgot what was it patrick said. sabi ko i'd feature it as trhe quote for the day... blah. anyways, kevin ppatrick and yeah moi, kinda got a good ok kanina. well, we talked about stuff, and well, yeah. we creamed ram. i know~~~ were all so evil! lalalala... well, yeah. a notebook from kevin would be nice. hmm. hi. i cancelled my password protected journal na din. i copied all mu mushy gushy entries, and im currently debating the pro's and con's of it. i was reading thru them kasi, and i saw how long has it been since i sent that email. i cant believe he never went online again since that time. why didnt he reply to the email? i was talking to matt about it kanina. i know im not supposed to, but anyway, he brought it up na nmn eh. so i said i sent him it. he doesnt believe me yata. oh well. atleast im sure i sent it. i dunnno. i was pised off. and i felt stupid kasi... that wasnt fair eh. i mean he totally ignored me that day. ok? whatever! and its been forever since we last talked. does he expect me to come to him pa? and ive been waiting nmn. and what? i get no squat. i talked to franie again, and well, she helped me get organize a bit. isa rin nmng lokoloko yun. kaya nagkanda labo labo muna kami lol. saka, about that thing, i wonder if he did get it. its been a month and a week, or so na. walang reply. either he just doesnt care, or he didnt get the email, or both? or neither? dammit i hate getting to think about shit like these. he mustve got it, and just idnt care. oh well. its not like i was totally totally totally inlove. great. i liked him. maybe i loved him. pero he was gone, and things came up, and he ignores me. what do u expect? i keep on loving him? buti na lang i didnt let myself fall totally inlove nga. well, i think i fell for similarities, not the guy. its stupid! its stupid!! and the signs thing. and i hate it. but im too mushy! kasi nmn eh. haaaaaaaaaaaay. naiinis nmn ako. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if ur wondring kung i post everything that goes on in my head here... nah. i let things fly off mostly. specially things i dont believe, or dont want to believe, otherwise theire on the extremely mushy journal. should i keep these? nah... if my sister gets to read them, im dead. she'd tell someone. and id be mseed up... if i dont keep it... it doesnt change anything... xept the long hours i wasted on posting those long entries about one subject or another will amount to nothing. too bad. nah. id better lose part of my life than get screwed bigtime with more family affairs. right now tho, what bugs me more than naything is the email. did i send it wrong? nah. cant be. i sent it properly, and i got the sent blah blah, and i didnt get the mail back notification thing. did i type something in properly? sure i did!!!! i proof read it three times just to be sure i dont get myself spoofed by myself. did he get it? i dont know. did someoen else get it? i dunno. did HE GET IT???? if he did, why isnt there any reply of sorts? ok i assumed he didnt care. pero, ... pesteng ano kasi yan eh. nagiisip na nmn tuloy ako. pano na nmn ako makaktulog? haaaaay..... maybe nga he doesnt care. im trying to scan myself for pain with that realization. pano nga kaya? pero, siguro i dropped him na when i clicked send that day. kaya siguro wala nang emotion. i need to talk to someone. with fresh views. franie said what charmy said, and they both said what ate chiaki told me ages ago, and nikki told me the same thing. patty's on everyone else's side but mine. ate anne? well she doesnt react kasi. so neutral ako lang ba ang di naniniwla? ang labo nmn kasi eh. damn that email. what if he didnt get it nga? i keep thinking about it the other way. na if he got it. pano kung di nya nga narecieve? kung di nya narecieve, should i send another one? and ill send it 3 times na rin to be safe? ewan. n things are getting too messed up for me.

mused dettie at 2:04 AM [+]
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http://www.sekimori.com/tests.htm

mused dettie at 6:28 PM [+]
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this is so funny hehheh.... lol 'they killed me!!!'

Which cartoon character are you?? Find out @ blackhole

Check it out, man! Dare you even attempt to match my rank in evilness?
You're an insane pyromaniac- complete with devoted minions and sexy shadowy armor. Yeah, you're pretty damn evil, but when people think of you, they seem to notice your insanity prior to your mad evil skills.

what adjective are you?
quiz by maikamariel

Which Firearm are you? brought to you byStan Ryker

I am 61% Internet Addict

I am pretty addicted, but there is hope. I think I'm just well connected to the internet and technology, but it's really a start of a drug-like addiction. I must act now! Unplug this computer!

Take the Internet Addict Test at fuali.com

mused dettie at 5:50 PM [+]
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which francesca lia block girl are you?
(quiz created by shelle)

mused dettie at 11:24 PM [+]
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DON'T READ!!!!
wish as i might to make a not so long post here... i'd rather not. ergh. wellz, charmy keeps insisting about this thing. [yeah... its a little... **eyes charmy** not so little thing about someone who "supposedly" likes me... er loves me daw...] so yeah, charmy thinks he's serious. i might be dense... and all, as everyone says... but come on!!! how can he be serious? he says *that* to everyone! ok? i dont really know about that... still! what makes me so special? **no answer** exactly!!!!!!! eekl! anyways, if ur being really comfy with someone... like as in super comfy close, wouldnt it be weird of some sorts? i mean... u can say really really really sweet things when u feel like it right? it doesnt mean u mean them. no- matter- how sweet and nice they are. -_- dammit! i was so convinced he's just playing. then CHARMY **eyes charmy* damn talkshow host you!!!** yeah charmy... sticks this 'he's really blah blah about you blah blah' now im having a 10% doubt he's just playing. ergh. if im so sure he's lying... why am i giving in to charmy? i dunno... that girl has a thing in her... lagi nya kong nahuhuli... pati si nikki. ack!!! saka si ate chiaki din nun... saka si ate lek din... '...dette ikaw yan no!?' aaaah! saka si ate anne!!!! saka si patty!!! aaaah!!!!! i better avoid talking to that bunch about certain things... if i want to keep my private life private. grabe. they throw me the biggest curve balls... and i blow my own cover without knowing it till its too late! aaaah!!!!!! damn being overly melodramatic!!!! i cant handle this. it's messing up my brain!!!!!!! but yeah... maybe that's why they always get me... agh! i made a discovery! im too mushy! **thats sarcasm charmy. no need to say 'so u figured that one out'* hahahaha~! sana tamarin kayong lahat sa pagbabasa!!!

certain things i need to vent and specify. i dont care if anyone who's not really supposed to read this gets to read this. specially the semi last part. that's been bugging me kasi, and i just deleted the other blog. yupp. considering once i get my guts to post there, i lose it, and not post anything real. this damned blog has a jig in it making me post more private shtuff. shuttup. i only blog like, 30 words on that blog... and in the other blog, i only post yakkiddi yakk, when im testing templates. in short, i really have 3 blogs, 2 na lng. but the other one doesnt count.

specify::were so broke. i dunno how to deal. i feel swamped in life's shit. seriously. my mom's pregnant, and she doesnt need this stress. the hell is with a shitty dad? damn him! he earns what? less than $1000 a month. he spends $300 just on smokes, he gets $20 a day for his lunch, which is, btw, enough for 3 people's lunches. that adds up to another $300 considering he always phones in sick. he blows $1000 at the casino and drinks booze everynight. he smokes INSIDE the house... he yells too much. he acts up when people're over for a visit... doing that shitty soft talk i so hate. he bosses me aroundmore than a normal person would boss anyone. and acts all snotty... doesnt do a single real chore. what? who does the man chores then? i do. i take out the garbage, i carry couches if theyre not all too heavy, closets beds name it. i do the laundry, i do everything i can to help. id get a job and earn some dow if only my mom would let me... but what does he do? nothing!!!! just gotta hate him.
its my sister's birthday. yeap. and were broke as hell. how can we celebrate now? i mean, its ok with me if it were me that is, but my sister is the kind who values things like those celebs. i feel bad for her. and i wanna punch my dad so bad! but, i didnt get to do it last time, and i got grounded. well, if my mom'd manage to borow some money, i'd work next week to help pay it off if we're still stuck. i dont care if she'd let me. i can work without permission, i'm old enough for a part time job. id wake up real early to miss her, and come home a soon as i can.
my mom lost all the kids on her custody. yeah were a frickin foster family. and trav's the only kid left. yeah we love him, coz he never met his real family, and my mom took care of him since he was still 3 days old. so, yeah. how can we pay the bills? if any minute now i get my inet cut off, id kill him. ok. i know other more valuable things are worthy of someone's death. look. will no gas, no electricity, no food and no INET count? ok. winter in alberta never comes at the right time. it may come earlier. who knows? how the hell can we take a bath? the frickin water is freezing!!!! what if they cut off our water supply too? yeap. its doom. and ill kill him first before we suffer. poor little one in my mom's womb. pinaglilihi puro kapestehan ang inabot namin. punyetang ungas na yan. mamatay na kaya sha para makuha namin insurance nya.
i think things arent going good in my head. ok. my inet world consists 70% of me. yepp. hey. im no socializing freak. i spend most of my time online, and school, and chores... and minor merriment once in a while. since april fool's... yeah great day huh? things were weird. i realized just yesterday that i said 'yes' to bee coz he reminded me of someone. but before i realized that, i thought i was so inlove. then, he had to go off to that damned training of his. then, we lost contact. then he's back. but, after a few days, he moved to a different house. no contact AGAIN. then one day, i see him online on yahoo! and what? he gives me no squat! no email, no offline message. ok if i wanted to talk to him i wouldve IM'ed him since i was invisible right?, but i was testing him. and he failed big time. so what can i say? i think he was probably busy with some shit. right? no. i didnt say that. if i were a wee bit nicer i wouldve thought that. but im not, so i let a few days blow over, and i sent him an email. which i told charmy about. the thing is, i mentioned it to matt kanina, without realizing he doesnt know about it. i tried to sway him off. ok i thought he gave up on that. but after a few minutes, i found out from asking charmy that he asked her about it. charmy told him ofcourse. she wasnt banned from saying that anyway. still, i feel weird. now that he knows about it. and the fact that he's been extra sweet and nice recently doesnt help either. i know him too well. he always does that. he did that last year, to me. ok but that was nothing. it wasnt anything so it was nothing. and he keeps saying he's being true. ok he didnt say that part dati. but he did ngayon. and he kept saying he does. and im confused to heck. since charmy said she thinks he's being honest or whatever. i mean come on. its charmy. if there are any trusty people on earth, charmy's one of them definitely, and i trust her. so what she says cant just blow over with a shrug. she has a thing for saying things that stick. stupid things that manage to get stuck in ur head. heaven forbid. and this ... it isnt helping me.
when bee and i were talking that april fool's morning, dawn or whatever... he said those magic words uli. yepp the 3 small words. and, right then, my frickin mp3 player skips, and then the song "why" comes on. yeah maybe some people are even wondring why ate anne kept saying "...themesong ni dette oh, why na nmn..." before. its because of that. i think i accidentally sent her the wrong log? or maybe i told her... well, yeah. so, being a mushy person that i am, when i was 8, i said id wait for three signs. one was thru a song, the other was thru a significant line. it doesnt have to be fancyful, but it'll be really really sweet, and it will come in a situation where id know its the sign. then, the third sign i said was something else... i didnt specify anything, but i 'd know its the sign when it comes. well, that time, i kinda thought i love him too, but now that i think about it, nadala lang ako sa kakaasar nila. si raine kasi, saka si ate anne, saka si ate lek, si mymy... si mymy nagsimula eh! saka sina patty at ate chiaki, ang lalakas mangasar. nabrainwash yata ako. so yun. i was crying. that time. yeah i know it was so stupid. nagiisa ako nun dito sa bahay, wala sina mommy, nakina lola, tapos umiiyak ako. wala lang parang ayaw kong sumagot. kasi if i say no, he said it'd be ok pero u know... the thing, he'd be hurt and stuff, and sisitahin ako ni mymy ng todo. lol... boto sila sa kanya. ewan ko ba. or pinagttripan lng nila ako. basta. so... i sent bee this email. i wont say what's in it. bahala na yung mga pinag sabihan ko. rather, yung sinabihan ko, at yung sinabihan ng sinabihan ko. meaning dadalwang tao. so, things arent so great for me that is. i mean, its nice that matt's being nicey... but i doubt he mean those 'ily' stuff. duh! well i know him too well. pero... haaaay. i dunno... kasalanan na nmn ni charmy! [lol sensya na charmy.. wala kasi akong ibang masisi eh... hehhehheh] nakakaloka na!!!! the things that are going on in my head. i said dont read eh. ano? wala kang napala. buhay ko lng yan... lol wala akong sikretong sinabi. bwahahaha

mused dettie at 10:41 PM [+]
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i... i cant think!!!!!! im so~~ confuzzled.

How do I deal with you?
How do I deal with me?
When I don't even know myself?
Or what it is you want from me...
How do I deal with us
How do I know what's real
When I don't even trust myself?
Or what it is I feel...
And how do I deal???????????

mused dettie at 6:17 PM [+]
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its MT's 2nd year!!! yay MT!!!!! nanasawa-san sooo kawaii ne?

mused dettie at 12:49 AM [+]
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i wanna blog so much about sumthin... else... but my other blog's closed down. argh~! luck's ran out on me again. hmmm... i should use the pitas acct. hehheh... i know its cruel since blogspot has been so nice to me. riggght now. -_- in crucial moments, it wont let me blog!!!! screwy!!! jk. nah... i'll use pitas as a private one. hmmm... should i change the url again? damn this is like the 3rd time. hehheh.... some sick pervert managed to windle thru my blog kasi. and its not really the mushiest ones, these entries..[ergo, the ones on this blog] are mushier.. teehee. la lang... sides... the template is weirded. i dunno. i screwed up pasting the codes. lol. yeah. its of dull, and dark hues as well. hence... my darker evilness. **laughs. err... i'd end up using it either way. when i figure out the thingie ..... dont ask what thingie... i dont know either. i better drop. i bet id wake up early tomorrow. heeh. i woke up at 6 kanina.. and the alarm was set to 8:30. ayos no? la lang. bakero's freaky fun. lol we flood, and we mess around. and the donut people dont mind. lol fun shtuff. waa's too snotty. well, basta. some people... i dont wear my donut coz their too snotty kasi... hmmm... maybe i should use it na. para di nagyayabang si miss bitchy. if ur interested on knowing about the bitchy kid, ask me, i'll show u the log. i know. im evil. i posted it pa sa lagrosa. she's such a snot. no really... '...zipzip ka lang.' she said those to me!!! daaaaym! hmmm... about the template in pitas... i dunno nga... i did it wrong. yata. i'd fix it now, but im poofed. really, i am. i woke up too early, went to the school, did more laundry nga, the dishes... thought my head off about that daym money issue... plus i went to grammas. gramma's wasnt fun. kevin wsa on the fone. toni's on the extension. their talking to camille. justin ws on the pc, playing daym sissy songs. wuss j00 jaustin powers!!! jona, well, i think she was out of placed, being she was 9, and all she did was bug everyone. not me. she doesnt care about me. i was feeling woozy, and i was sick... and i was thinking of... whoa. good thing i caught myself. nah. u wish. no name given. gwahaha~! well, when justin finally got off, the pc that is, i logged on to DALnet. ok. it was so messed up. kasi, i couldt type, kasi justin and patrick are plotting agains ramy, yeah... i know they cream the poor boy. lol. shush! atleat i dont do it for fun. ok fine!!! but atleast i dont plot my evil scheme infront of an evil lady. naks. lol. well, when i got my stuff together, and finally focused on the screen, i think he got dc'ed lol. daym connections!!!! i kept getting dc'ed. kit sucked! argh. sister's bday na mamaya. and she was pissed kanina, kasi sumthin came. i dunno. im too dense to realize what. and i dont want to nose around either. so there. haaaaay. i wanna cry. i feel... empty. haaaay. argh! mushy mushy kid! shuttup mushy kid!!! **tapes her mouth** argh! my mind is whirling. i feel woozy. matty-san loves me daw. lol. yeah~~~~ who's the kid!!! lol. daym bitchy girl. hate her. erck. better sleep. crashing to dream land in.... T-10 secs. tinatamad ako magbilang. later.

mused dettie at 11:47 PM [+]
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im gonna scream... "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

mused dettie at 5:19 PM [+]
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my ISP's on the fritz, and it's driving me insane! ahhh!!! anyways, as if my day wasnt fucked up at that. i had to wake up real early to go to the damned school, and what happened? i wake before the friggin' alarm clock!!! then, i get home, mom's messed-up, coz my frickin' dad screwed the dow at the casino... in other words, were broke. great timing. bills are up, and my sister's birthday's tomorrow. great? well, since my mom's all messed up, i had to do the dishes. which, i wouldnt mind if only my sister wasnt being such a pill!!!!! then, i did the laundry again... and i think i broke the washer. kasi i crammed to much laundry at a time. it didnt blow up mind you. i sort of starte to smell sumthin' similar to burning elevtric stuff. believe me when i say i know how that smells. so... my day was so whacked. aaaargh. and i dunno charmy's new url;. U_U damn. if i get dc'ed again. id scream!!!!!

mused dettie at 5:14 PM [+]
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Number of times I have been in love: Like really fall for someone? Don't know. Err, I thought I was with bee but now, I'm not that sure. Maybe, ONCE... [...or not.]
Number of times I have had my heart broken: Here's the thing. I never got heart-broken YET. So, I think I didn't fall inlove yet? Wuddya say??
Number of hearts I have broken: Blah. I can't bear do so. Wala pa yata.
Number of boys I have kissed in my life: For real? **laughs** 2 people; err, guys. 1 was an accident, the other was just to be nice... Romantic kiss? Nada.
Number of girls I have kissed: Err, like, *smack* kiss thing? You know, friendly 'beso-beso'? 3, and they're my best buds. `waii!
Number of continents I have visited: 2.
Number of drugs taken illegally: Bleeh. I tried someone's Ritalin tabs...[some sort of mental medicine] just to know how it's like... it was taken illegally, coz I wasn't supposed to take it. Sleeping medicine... coz my mom took them, saying I shouldn't take it anymore, but I ransacked the house to find it. [literally] Gyah! I am pretty obssesive pala.
Number of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends: My friends. and some of my cousins. Ergo, 7.
Number of people from high school that I stayed in contact with: Err, Iost contact na eh... sigh**
Number of CD's that I own: Ewan. 5? I jacked the others from somepeoples' else yata eh.
Number of piercings: 2. 1 on each ear.
Number of tattoos: Bleeh. Don't have one.
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: I never see my name on the paper. Maybe namesakes. But I swear they're not me.
Number of scars on my body: 27 [binilang pa... eh no?]
Number of times I've seen my favorite performer/s live: `waii!!! PnE! Once~
Number of pairs of sneakers I own: 3!!!!
Last song you heard: Err, Freakish!
Last thing you had to drink: Coke!
Last thing you ate: Chocolates.
Last time you showered: 1pm? When I woke up.
Last time you cried: Last month.
Last time you smiled: When Matty-san was 'trying out lines' for his girl on me... [sure, he said he wasn't] They were pretty sweet though. Makes you wanna be that girl. **smiles**... ^^
Last time you laughed: Errck. That's got me thinking really bad. I don't remember. [I kno~~~w. I have a lousy life... -_-]
Last person you hugged: Person, the guest. I had to be nice.
Last person you kissed: Will my dog count as a person?
Last person you had sex with: No one? I never had sex YET. Ever... in my present life time that is.
Last person you talked to online: Matty-san!
Last person you talked to on the phone: My sister's friend, Nicole. [Yeah. No one calls me. How'd you know???]

A survey from "RUTH" and I think she took it from this "chickybabe"

mused dettie at 8:45 PM [+]
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See which Requiem for a Dream Character you are.

If i was a serial killer i would be The Zodiac Killer. Over the course of almost 9 years in the 1970s the Zodiac Killer took the lives of over 13 people, either stabbing or shooting them to death in or by their vehicles. All the targets were the same, couples in cars off rural roads. Taunting cops the Zodiac Killer would send in encrypted messages to the local papers, describing how his past victims had died, and who would come next if they didn't post his message on the cover of the newspaper the following day. The only surviving witness described the zodiac killer as a heavy set man in a self fashioned hooded jacked that covered his face, brandishing a crossed circle that he always signed his letters with. After 1978 the killings stopped, the Zodiac's case was never solved. Kill count: 13 Find what serial killer you would be, Take the Serial Killer Quiz now!

mused dettie at 2:08 PM [+]
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gah. need some major improvement on my emotional skills. hmm. its my sister's birthday next week. ergsh. i cant get her anything... im broke. haaaay. hoowell. hmm.. mj's birthday celeb's next sunday din pala. ^^ waii!!! more chinese food!!! ladidaa~~~ kahli's back from BC. hmmn.

you know what happened to day? matt was so nice. really!! he was really nice. then, i thought he was mad at me again. **yeah you always get mad at me you!!!** but i kept saying sorry... then he said he wasnt mad. hehheh. **eyes charisse and laughs** PMS person. lol... haaay~~~ i'll mis charmy's blog! U_U charmy's moving blogs!!! waii!!! gimme ur url charmy!!!!! well, u dont have to if u dont want to. hmm. anyway, it was a nice change. i mean, matt not being sick..[minded that is] and all. he was so nice. but he said i changed. i changed? maybe... knowing something im not supposed to know made me be weirded. so maybe i did change? gomen! so sorry matt. word for todayt is 'paokona' btw. hehheh. and this song charisse sent me is cool!!!! waii!!!! i had a nice day.

mused dettie at 11:08 PM [+]
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ha~y. i care too much. im not supposed to care too much. hmmn.
"...there's always something in the way. there's always something getting through... but it's not me. it's you."

hmmn. thanks for bearing with me piper, charisse... charmy... ^^ hey, te lek... sarap katayin nung intruder ne? k lng yan. kawawa nmn sha. walang life. o.o **laughs**

mused dettie at 9:58 PM [+]
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waii! white mage's back!!!!! happy happy!!!! ... nah... not exactly happy. i'll miss charmy. sigh* will you please let me know ur new place charmy? heeh. bait ko talaga. haay~

to the sick-o. **laughs** "...u can sleep; in ur briefs; under the blanket; on the master bed." kapeesh? **laughs** [mumbles... demented freak of getting laid person.]

mused dettie at 6:19 PM [+]
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damn this thing!!! if it does that to me again... i'd die!!!!

gomen gomen minna... i didnt mean to cause whatever.... but why does it seem...like... everythings screwing up on me? forgive me kudasai... i didnt mean to do whatever it was i did... hai. im so sorry. gomen gomen... sigh** please... get things back to normal... im losing it... oh. hell. i've lost it ages and ages ago. blah.

mused dettie at 4:31 PM [+]
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taggy's are back! happy!

mused dettie at 11:22 PM [+]
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i didn't know knowing something you're not supposed to know would be complicated. i mean, it's hard enough to keep from blurting out you know something... it gets worse when the other party involved doesnt help. you cant blame them tho. they have no idea. aaaah~~ that was illegal you! **laughs** i wasnt supposed to see that. atleast, if i'd ever know about that, the person should be the one telling me. anyway, in a span of... a year, 2 people told me about that. but, i didnt believe it. now, it's right in my face. a solid proof. but... again, i find out from someone else. that's easy enough. i have no idea how to react anyway if it does happen. well, for the part that spells 'right off' i cant decide if its fact or fiction. i'm not saying i believe it. the fact that i wasnt supposed to see it in the first place doesnt help either. haay~ i know about it, but i dont believe it. atleast i think i dont. but knowing about it doesnt help. haaay... if you know what im talking about here.. dont react in public!!! you know that wasnt right. **laughs** now i dont get anything.

i guess things cant ever be the same between us two anymore. i kind of think sumthin's up. maybe... and i feel it's my fault. maybe. maybe i wasnt just paying enough attention that's why i never understand you anymore. either that, or you did change. change... too much. maybe you hate me... well, you said you dont. but... its not the same... maybe it's all in me? or maybe you just have something you're keeping from me. or maybe i just got used to you... never running out of things to say... and being... normal....and being...fun. now... it's like... i dont know. i dont know you anymore. its like you're an entirely different person. it's like... everything's serious to you. im not saying i hate it. i kind of like it. no acctually i love it too^^ but.. i feel something else. and i kind of assumed you hate me. an i hope not... i'll take your word for it ok? you dont hate me. that works for me. well then, are... you keeping distance? maybe... but i kinda thought we were close... but if you need your space.. its ok. but... i think that... if there is something going on...you gotta tell me. best friends or not.. i think i deserve the right to know...but its ok if you dont want to... i'll only be spending my time wondering my head off... and wondering some more. but you dont have to tell me if you dont want to. its ok! haaay~ you'll always be mybestfriend tho... even if you do hate me.. ok i know you dont hate me. you said so.. just.. ewan.

mused dettie at 10:52 PM [+]
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..........just- just let me know if you hate me. please? just tell me. i want so bad to ask you what is it... but i know you wouldnt tell me anyway... coz if i do ask you'd say its nothing. if i did something wrong... or if youre mad at me... please tell me... is it my fault? im sorry. i--...i wont bug you anymore....

mused dettie at 8:14 PM [+]
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you're Cloud!
i've got great hair and i'm handy in a fight, although i'm a bit mentally unstable.
why won't the voices leave me alone? aaaarrrrggghhh!

take the final fantasy vii character test

You are Ellone! Good-hearted and self-sacrificing, people often see you as what you are instead of who you are. You have special talents others envy, but those who take the time to know the real you will see you for the sweetheart that you really are. Take the Final Fantasy 8 Test here!

You're Lulu. You seem a little insensitive to those who don't know you very well, due to your cynical nature. Your mind is always thinking of things, big and small. You have a tough time of letting go of the past. You also like to bash people with plushies for fun and then fry them up with some tasty magic~! XD

Which Final Fantasy X Character would YOU be? Take the test.

mused dettie at 6:40 PM [+]
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sorry if some people i linked are gone. i lost the links last night, and i'm so sorry. if you want me to link you again, well, you're gonna have to let me know. given, i know who you are, and the works. be forewarend that i can say yes, or no, which ever.

mused dettie at 4:55 PM [+]
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kuya gerry's going to gapore again. hehheh. and he's bugging me. la lang.

i feel woozy. "...there's always something in the way. there's always something getting through. but it's not me. it's you."

mused dettie at 12:21 AM [+]
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well, here's the new look. wala lang. i kinda used the same codes from my last version, just switched it over, and made it more permanent. u know, so it doesnt budge when u enlarge, or whatever ur browser window. why i did this? i felt alone. not so dark... but alone. i dont know why, but right now, i feel like crying. hmm. people love seeing other people cry. good thing no one sees me. yeah i know im freaky. hence, my L33T name, P|-||233|< hmmn. yeah. whom ever's reading this, i love you. lol yeah. girls say i love you a lot, just as an expression of fondness, not exactly love. and i am a girl. so there. well... i feel alone. im sad. this is sad. crying for no reason. blah

mused dettie at 11:52 PM [+]
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in anyway else, this day was ok. for one, we didnt go 'go-carting'. i was too tired. i needed some medicine last night so bad. i couldnt find any, so sleepless nights weren't excused.. sigh* in a span of 3 weekz, i had atleast, a sum of 42 hours oof sleep. that's happy huh? to a normal person, that'd be, 6 days worth of decent sleep. blah. well, toni, justin kev and patrick went bowling instead. only they didnt bowl. they played at the arcade. as for me? i stayed home. and did the dishes. and played with 'wen. and watched the kids. jona, bryce, jj, trav and ram. so, it was ok. well, going to the arcade wouldve been better, but my mom didnt give me a choice. my sister stayed home coz she wa feeling physically woozy. i had to say physically coz for one, i use woozy in relates to emotional dreaminess. in her case, she was sickly. and felt sick. kapeesh? so ok. by 4pm, my mom called telling us to get ready. it's tita mina's birthday, and were eating dinner out. blaah. i knew we were going. but i didnt know i had no clean clothes. hence, i had to do a last minute laundry. a shirt, and a pair of jeans... heh. yeah. wasted valuable power. phreek. sue me! i was rushing. my mom was bantering at me like hell! so yeah. i had to take them out of the dryer and it hasnt dried properly yet. so i had to do some major ironing. well, so yeah. i got ready, late. -_- anyway, we got there ok. so yeah. then we went to my gramma's place, and they played ppusoy na nmn. i never did understand the game, ho my cuzins tried to teach me. and my aunties... and my dad. phreaksh. so yeah. anyway, i went on the pc, and read more megatokyo~ heehee.. i read it before... but its so cool~ so yeah... i was checkin' out matt's blog... which is dead didnt you know? his blog schedules are once in a month. how nice! so yeah... patrick saw him, and he was like, that's enishi~ heeh. yeap. he's an anime phreak. peace cuz! so yeash. well, he liked megatokyo.... and he took the url. hmm... i dunno his email add. i might get it sometime if i dont forget. damn the sushi at that resto were good. lol. i liked the cucumber ones. so yum yum yummy~ hmm.... wonder what it'll be tomorrow? hmm... lalalalala~ damn that guy said 'lalalala' means i love you.. he's a psycho. no. really, he is. who would think lalala mean i love you? duh. blah. me gonna sleep? sleep! haay... maybe i'll end up reading old logs with bee. i sure hope my sister didnt delete them... i miss bee. haay~

mused dettie at 12:56 AM [+]
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haaaay naku~....

mused dettie at 12:55 AM [+]
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s00 d4|\/||\| c|24qqY bay. h34d h0|75. 1|f3'5 0u3 h311 0f a p14c3 70 |3 |u. nf0|27nu4731y |'b h4v 70 |334|2 w|7h |7..

mused dettie at 5:31 PM [+]
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.... i'll blog... later. i feel miserable just now. phreek!!!!!!!!! aaaah!!!!!!!!!!

mused dettie at 5:22 PM [+]
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tch. it looks demented. eh. wutever~

mused dettie at 12:57 PM [+]
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.......j00 sux0rz.

mused dettie at 12:38 PM [+]
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damn medication~~~~~

mused dettie at 4:35 AM [+]
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b0|\|7 j00 jnz 1nv |\/|36470ky0? s00 c001! PH|233K j00!!!! weeheehee~

mused dettie at 3:09 AM [+]
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phreek. i didnt stick to my summer resolves...and summer's almost over!!!!!! .... i miss bee. hmmm... people are acctually using the book. lol... ty yjhay and mama aimzkie! heeh!

mused dettie at 1:44 AM [+]
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WARNING!: don't read this!!! besides the fact that its too long, you wouldnt be interested.
ok. im in a dreamy mood, so yeah. bear with me. alls i can say is, dont, DON'T read this. please. dont. well, if u want to u can... i mean its not like its under a spell that if u do read it u'd die... but please... please dont read it. well, if u'd read it, dont let me know u have read it. xept for my friends that is... ie, charisse, charmy, tricia, hanna, aimz, ate lek, and the like. no guys allowed. repeat. no guys allowed!

someone's so-so diary
march 5th, 8:47pm

i cant see why she'd be so angry at me. i miss her voice. i miss her silly messages that make her so cute in her own way. maybe i shouldn't have told her... that was one stupid move! >_< it's been a week, and she's avoiding me. Y_Y i cant stand it! its racking my brain... i mean, it cant be real. its all online. but what's happening to me? i like her. i like her! ok. i like her alot! fine. i knew i liked her right off... i mean what's not to like? she's smart. that ruthless and frank honesty that knows exactly when to strike never fails to be attractive... the way she keeps u hanging on to her every word... she's cruel i tell u, and a secret is always a secret to her... the way she can be so sensitive, but dense at the same time... the way she giggles on the phone... the way she hums to herself when she's doing her homework...and read out a question, just so you can answer it for her... the way she complains about math... the way she hates things... the way she keeps u talking... the way she laughs... the way she says...'it's not that, stupid... yung anooooo'... the way she falls quiet after a few minutes of nonstop talk, and when u ask her whats the matter, she'd say... 'i was thinking how u can stand talking to me and not complain...' she doesnt see herself... just what a great person she is... she can get to me with a bang, but she doesnt seem to notice, nor mind... nor care... and i hate it coz i care when she doesnt notice, or react, or care... and it gets to me. i hate it. i hate her! i hate her coz i dont understand anything anymore! tho all she did was be mean and friendly at the same time. i hate you! why do u have to be so cold? and... so warm at the same time...? she hates me, this should be nothing... but why do i want to have her back so bad? why do i want her to be ok with me again? she's avoiding me. so what i do is just get out of the way. if i see her online, i just leave, even if i long to talk to her so much. why do i want to talk to her so much? i just leave... i just butt out of the conversations... i mean, i dont want her leaving her other online friends... just coz she's avoiding me. she would say 'brb' when i get on... and she wouldnt talk till i say brb, or afk, or away, or park, or whatever that means im away... its ok with me, it makes me happy just seeing her type back to her friends... i wish im jet. i wish so bad that i am jet. she talked to him more than anyone else... besides deacon that is. i hate the way she calls deacon deary. maybe i should be friend those guys too? i wonder, if i find her long lost bestfriend guy? maybe she'd talk to me. or what if i pretend im that guy? her friends talk about it, and say she liked him. i mean, he was her crush. lucky guy. maybe she'd talk to me if i did? maybe... but then she'd hate me more if she found out. sides, i dont know him much. >_<;; but why wont she talk to me? maybe i screwed up bigtime.

a week. all i can do is smile. i cant tell her i think she's being cute when she says something cute. i cant talk to her. why? coz she wont talk to me!!!! dammit. why am i wasting time on this? its not like it'll help me. i think...'i have issues' as she'd say... i hate you... even the sound of your name... or the letters that spell it makes me woozy. and i keep using words that u use. and i keep hoping u'd call... and i keep hoping u'd say hi to me... naiinis ako sayo. ang labo labo mo! i hate you! i hate you! i hate you! i hate you! .... i can't love you...

march 13th, 6:34pm

ah~ she's talking to me again. it's still not the same tho... i missed her so much. and i have no right to ask her for more. i dont want to blow it. so as much as i want to say i miss her so much, i should limit myself. its hard... and it hurts. i cant understand her. women are so hard to understand! women! well, i knew she's a softy. so, i said hi to everyione, and i said hi to her, specifically. and said, di rin nmn nya ko papansinin. she said hi. and that was that. she left. maybe, she said hi to be nice. its just like her... being nice... well, i stayed up allnight, hoping she'd go online... kaso di nmn. well, i met her friends... i dont like her friends much... specially those rich kids. nayayabangan ako sa kanila. why can she be friends with those kinds of guys? ah... my detz... its just like nher. top be so mean and so nice, and all the in betweens... and extremes. im starting to talk like her. and type the way she does. this is so freaky! hehehe. when i type something, i think of her. i think of her too much... >_<; too much of anything is never good. as she'd say. ano baaaa! tama naaaa!!! leave my thoughts alone! when i talk to your sister all i talk to her about are things about you. galit na yata yun sakin.. coz all i do is ask her about you... sorry colei!

march 31st, 9:47am

anothery day. i just dropped off my brother and sisters to school. and logged on. she's not online ofcourse. she'd be at school. i miss her already... ^^ she keeps denying the fact that i do like her a lot. ---_---;;; when i say i like her a lot, she'd say 'ofcourse you like me! you wont be a best friend if you dont like me! you wont be my bestfriend if i dont like you!' ok. so she likes me! but i dont want her to like me that way!!!!! damn you!!! why are women so cruel!!!!!!! why do we want them too much? ah! life is a great mystery.... yeah. i know. that's what she says. she! she again! dammit!!! stop using she! hmmm... april fool's. wonder if she's gonna be here? her again... quit going on about her bj!!!!! hay... i love the way she calls me bubuyog, or bee. she used to be the only one who calls me bubuyog, now everyone calls me bubuyog. damn them! well, she called me bee, and that made everything, the insect, and the word itself special. its like, an endearment on its own... 'llow bee' it seems so sweet when she says it. and everyone else calls me by that now too. whats so special about you????? what????? tell me!!!!!!! i have to know!!!!!! hmmm. i should call. i never called her in ages! she called me last week, but i cant call her... im broke, and my dad and i just had a fight. voice chat would do. whats so special about you???????????????????????????????

mused dettie at 12:26 AM [+]
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phreek. why do they ask me who 'he' is? di ko nga alam kung sino sha eh.... lol

mused dettie at 11:45 PM [+]
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This dynamic character is singleminded, and determined to achieve their goals in life.
What Obernewtyn Character are you?

Primary Ability: Farseeker Farseekers posses the ability to communicate over great distances via telepathy. They are great friends who know when they're needed, and seem to be able to detect others thoughts.
Secondary Ability: Empath Empaths posess the ability to feel the emotions of others. They are gentle people, who encourage and nurture others. They percieve the world with their hearts and not with their minds. Empaths make great friends because they understand people.
What is your Misfit Talent?

mused dettie at 11:24 PM [+]
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i just got home. ^^ i had a normal day for once, and it might've started out as... off placed, but i feel great about it. well, so yeah. my mom made my sister and me get up real early. to clean up the basement. i dont know, but the doggie...[awww browen i love u too!] lives there... so doggie mess everywhere. eurgh. well, not really everywhere.... but i had to carry rolls of carpet... my sister was s'posed to help me, but she was like...'ate kakain lang ako, gutom na gutom na ko eh.' in other words, she left me. i did all the gross parts on my own. and all the heavy shit too. dammit. so after, i took a shower. then changed. ^^ then i cleaned out the boys' room. yeah... theyre gone. [sniff** sniff**] i'll miss them. then, took browen out. uin the yard. heh. then, the guys came. i guess we had to go. lalala....we went to see the austin powers movie~ twas a good laugh. heeh... i didnt really like the hoochie spears part tho. i kinda thought it was a bit over rated. hehheh. so we left home at 11am. hehheh. ok then we went to toni's house, coz we had to drop of the medicine thingie. -_- ok. but uncle's from hawaii, so he doesnt know where to go. toni had to 'lead' we took an hour... 2 hours. till me got to the theater place downtown. we got there... oit was like 1:40pm, and the movie starts at 2:45. heeh. i played virtua fighter... [go sarah!] then i tried the keyboard thingamajig, but i suck. its kinda like DDR, but u use ur hands, and play kinda~. so, yeah. well, justin and kevin ruled he DDR machine thingie. wala pa kasing mashadong tao eh... [anyway, go cuzins!] and kevin played other games. and my sister played the shooting game thing with toni. jona was just tagging along watching us. what do u expect? she's 9. she doesnt care. she shudduve given us her tokens then. she told us she still had tokens when we got to their house. phreek! aniway, i had an ok day. not exactly great~ but ok. yay for my cuzins coz i got to get out!!!

mused dettie at 11:08 PM [+]
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i just got home. ^^ i had a normal day for once, and it might've started out as... off placed, but i feel great about it. well, so yeah. my mom made my sister and me get up real early. to clean up the basement. i dont know, but the doggie...[awww browen i love u too!] lives there... so doggie mess everywhere. eurgh. well, not really everywhere.... but i had to carry rolls of carpet... my sister was s'posed to help me, but she was like...'ate kakain lang ako, gutom na gutom na ko eh.' in other words, she left me. i did all the gross parts on my own. and all the heavy shit too. dammit. so after, i took a shower. then changed. ^^ then i cleaned out the boys' room. yeah... theyre gone. [sniff** sniff**] i'll miss them. then, took browen out. uin the yard. heh. then, the guys came. i guess we had to go. lalala....we went to see the austin powers movie~ twas a good laugh. heeh... i didnt really like the hoochie spears part tho. i kinda thought it was a bit over rated. hehheh. so we left home at 11am. hehheh. ok then we went to toni's house, coz we had to drop of the medicine thingie. -_- ok. but uncle's from hawaii, so he doesnt know where to go. toni had to 'lead' we took an hour... 2 hours. till me got to the theater place downtown. we got there... oit was like 1:40pm, and the movie starts at 2:45. heeh. i played virtua fighter... [go sarah!] then i tried the keyboard thingamajig, but i suck. its kinda like DDR, but u use ur hands, and play kinda~. so, yeah. well, justin and kevin ruled he DDR machine thingie. wala pa kasing mashadong tao eh... [anyway, go cuzins!] and kevin played other games. and my sister played the shooting game thing with toni. jona was just tagging along watching us. what do u expect? she's 9. she doesnt care. she shudduve given us her tokens then. she told us she still had tokens when we got to their house. phreek! aniway, i had an ok day. not exactly great~ but ok. yay for my cuzins coz i got to get out!!!

mused dettie at 11:08 PM [+]
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whee~ -__- im bout to go off with my cuzinz... see the austin powers movie~ heeh~ anyways, yeah. abe... inlove ka lang. hahhahhah~** whee~~~ pano kaya kung dumating sha habang nasa theater ako? buha~y nga nmn.... hmmm... wonder if the sisters will be there? heeh... cant help but giggle at the thought of kevin going out with that 12 y/o. heeh. so phreeky. wellz, the kid was pretty tho. huy. again, i'll say im no lesbo. u know who u are... i just happen to think she's pretty. that's all.

mused dettie at 12:05 PM [+]
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Ordinary Day
--Vanessa Carlton

Just a day,
Just an ordinary day.
Just tryin to get by.
Just a boy,
Just an ordinary boy.
But he was looking towards the sky.
And as he asked if i would come along
I started to realize-
That everyday you find
Just what he's looking for,
Like a shooting star he shines.

He said take my hand,
Live while you can
Don't you see your dreams are right in the palm of your hand

And as he spoke, he spoke ordinary words
Although they did not feel
For I felt what I had not felt before
You'd swear thsoe words could heal.
And I as looked up into those eyes
His vision borrows mine.
And to know he's no stranger,
For I feel I've held him for all of time.

And he said take my hand,
Live while you can
And if we walk now we will divide and conquer this land.
Don't you see your dreams are right in the palm of your hand
Right in the palm of your hand

Please come with me,
See what I see.
Touch the stars for time will not flee.
Time will not flee.

Can you see

Just a dream, just an ordinary dream.
As I wake in bed
And the boy, that boy, that ordinary boy.
Or was it all in my head?
Did he asked if I would come along
It all seemed so real.
But as i looked to the door,
I saw that boy standing there with a deal.
And he said he my take my hand,
Live while you can,
Don't you see your dreams are right in the palm of your hand
Right in the palm of your hand
Right in the palm of your hand

Just a day, just an ordinary day
Just tryin' to get by.
Just a boy, Just an ordinary boy. But he was looking to the sky.

mused dettie at 3:11 AM [+]
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bad trip yung bitch na yun. i wish she loses her so called glory. para matuto shang wag magyabang. ang angas nya!!!!

mused dettie at 12:28 AM [+]
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wait..... wait..... wait.....
if he shows up tonight, i'd tell him i love him~ dont care what he'd say anyway... or what anyone else'd say for the matter.... heehee... i couldn't sleep last night... for a different reason.... i was over dreamy to acctually go to dream land... **misty eyed** heeheehee... lalalala... ~~~

mused dettie at 3:02 PM [+]
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just a dream, just an ordinary dream...
i fell inlove with you.
dont ask me to care of what theyd say...
i just get by... the day
with thoughts of you
i never realized how pushing you away...
made me to love you instead.
i dont want to say ur name...
keeping it a secret... yet all will stay the same...
but i know i fell inlove with you.
a joke... a bluff... a hoax.
__________ i fell inlove with you... not knowing.
i fell inlove with you.

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mused dettie at 12:05 AM [+]
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should i hang on?
should i let go?
should i take a risk?
should i let u know?
should i love u more?
should i let this grow?
should i care to much?
should i take things slow?

me brain's blank. so there it ends... blah...too short to be a real poem... TidBit...

mused dettie at 10:28 PM [+]
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toni's so~ in a bad shape. sigh* wish i could help more...

mused dettie at 2:35 PM [+]
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don't you know that i'd go crazy without nothin' left to give... though i'd miss you for a while...
don't you know that id go crazy? but you're on your own tonight... though you know i'd miss your smile...

mused dettie at 2:35 PM [+]
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anyways, bout the girl, whom kevin, yepp. his name is kevin.... and yeah, i figured out who is who. heeheeh. patrick has loads of yugi-oh cards... me is sooo confuzzled. he tried showing strategies... only im too dumb to understand... hahhah. ok so back to kevin, he met this girl she's from hawaii too, and she's here, in calgary for summer vacation i yhink... so kevin met her during the flight, talked to her, and stuff, but-- the catch. he never got her name! hehheh... so the grown ups were laughing. and he said 'yeah, i know im stupid... >_< well i go to an all boys school... so you cant blame me...' well, he does have a point. hehheh... and toni kept talkin' bout this hot guy she saw at the port when they went pick up the peoples from hawaii... lol. she was like, good thing u didnt come... coz there was this really hot guy there... lol. she and kevin were like dreamy all day... hehheh... they were giving me looks coz i was shrugging off their stories. heehee... toni was like... ur just being thatw ay coz ur takennnnn... hehheh.... **shrug** oh, i cant say much about them. sides the fact that i never met them all my life, sides yesterday that is, i dont have really good social skills, so i just tag along... not really interested. well, when we went walking to the store to get candeis, course i came! candies!!! hehheh...

i can blog long now coz im safe at home. i was at gramma's for 2 nights. -_- so i didnt have really nice longish bloggies. so yeah. hmmm... its so cold. and its middle of summer. fryd dra.... hehheh... screw alberta weather!!!! suxorz!!!

mused dettie at 1:43 PM [+]
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..... wheee... me cuzins!!!!!! yay!! they sooo nice... tho me feel so left out coz me not know em... U_U

mused dettie at 6:31 PM [+]
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whee~~ cuzins from hawaii... never met them all my life. nyways, theye here, and theyre err, ok^^ so yeah. toni's so psyched bout kevin? was it kevin? or patrick? sweet mother. i cant tell who... whatever~ so he met this pretty girl on the plane to here, he talked to her, but he never got the girl's name. hehheh... more later.

mused dettie at 2:32 PM [+]
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yeah~~~ read a walk to remember again. well, toni has the paperback, so i borrowed it^^ hehheh. ok. now i'll read. hahhah. layterwards!

mused dettie at 5:06 PM [+]
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o.o teehee... alternative sets the mood aite... and rock...and punky music. blahhahha... what to say? i dunno... lalala? nother poem? eh... not inspired....

mused dettie at 4:03 PM [+]
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bleeh... me head hoits you. needs ta lighten up. what do you think you? mebbe i should? teehee. nyways, me head hoits sooo~ bad... need more rain. it hailed the other day... or was it yesterday? heehee... and it's rained today! how cool! i was watching the rain... but then... it's over before i knew it... then i was sad. hehheh. not really. i was disappointed that it stopped too soon. bweeh... me head hoits... U_U ...need someone to talk to... wheee... charmy aint on. charisse aint on... hmmm... hanna IS on, but she's busy fixing up hey bloggy! and... i blocked someone. dont wanna talk anymore then. daym!!!!! head hoits... need to snooze so~~~ bad. well, i woke up last night, err morning, thought someone was crying, then i thought i was just hearing things. then i heard my mom getting mad... so i wasnt just hearing things after all!! yay for me! well, if i was, that would be freaky. -_- so, keyl [no, that's not his real name. his name is kaleb, or sumthin, i call him keyl! hehheh.] so yeah, he was crying in the middle of the night... err, morning... gawd... it was 3am so's there wont be confusion in me. so he was crying, and my mom was trying to make him stop. then i went down... talked to him, and he was so psyched, he must've had a bad dream. well, he hugged me when he saw me, and my mom got mad at me for not making stop when i heard him. i said ' ...i was sleeping?' hehheh... so keyl end up sleeping in our room. more like, talking in our room. -_- well, he wasnt crying anymore... but he kept talking about things... about his 'ouchie' on the knee, and who did it, and who broke his airplane... and how i'll be mad at the person who broke his toy...'mom, 'boken... toys... yoo spank them in the bumbum?' i'm like, 'yeah yeah yeah...' and he wont quit. 'not me mom? imma goo'boy mom.' i didnt answer him, cause he called me mom. -_- he has a thing for calling people mom... hehheh. then he said...'aye b'det, not me? yoo wont spank me?' hehheh... he was too cute i couldnt get mad at him for keeping me up. -_- that was a stroke of weird hey? hahahaha~ so... after so and so's, he fell asleep, but i cant get back to sleep...-_- so oh well. blah blah. me head hoits so~ bad... oooh... i smell barbecue... think mom's makin' somethin' yummy~... blah head hoitin' me... U_U

mused dettie at 7:43 PM [+]
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I walk in the rain...
Wind on my face.
Numbed by the pain.
Caught in the chase.
Dazed in paranoia,
Love's lost trace.
Agony of believing...
Torment of deceit...
Heart sent. Heart felt. Lost.
Words wander in my head...
Better left unsaid.
Better left unheard.
...but I miss your smile.
Taken aback for a while...
...still I miss your smile.
It gave me a feeling so volatile...
Yet we're drifting away...
Mile, after mile...
Torture of caring
Longing for change.
Heart sent. Anguish.
Letting go, setting free
Love that isn't meant for me
Moving on, letting be
Heart sent, what's in it for me?
---Heartsent

mused dettie at 4:48 PM [+]
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heeh. taalked to hanna. we never talked in aghes!! wee!! miss her sooo!!!! anyway, she's gots her bloggy too!!1 wee!!! i wont link it yet... kasi she's still...'nagiipon ng posts'

mused dettie at 12:33 AM [+]
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more comics! you! read loads!!! teehee... this one's fun. bweh. lalalalaa... new linkie! yeehaa!!! err... wont post much na. might end up screwy posrts on here. so yeah... nuff said.

mused dettie at 11:52 PM [+]
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4th month bee... **smiles** i'd put happy, but then that would be lying to myself and you alike... no grudges held but things didnt really go all that great for us.... **sigh** no wonder things were being screwy for me.... first of the month... deamy days...

mused dettie at 9:13 PM [+]
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