...all i want is you.

-- Wednesday, July 31, 2002 --

Ü suddenly i feel mystified in a good way... wee... more look-ups for sounds . thanks you, charisse^^ teehee

mused dettie at 9:54 PM [+]
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im so wasted.

mused dettie at 9:42 PM [+]
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wahahahaha.... never got the chance to go online all day... why? heehee... been swamped up in life's crap. first off, yesterday, i did all the laundry. which was, if i dare say so myself, terrible. not only was there one heck of a laundry stack, but, the dryer, was also busted. imagine what hell broke loose. it was so sad, i pitied myself. not that i dont think im pathetic in the first place, k? dont u get me wrong now. well, so yeah. in other words, now there's a pile of nice smelling clean clothes. waiting to be folded up 'neatly' then put away in their pretty little places. but what do i care right? i did my part.

this mmorning, my dad woke us up. [corz he doesnt know i was up then, he was knocking like a mad man at our door, coz he was looking for his left sock. i let him knock till my sister woke and let him in. if he knew i was up then, and just torturing him, hahahaha... would've been nice. only, i dont have time for him... i have much more nicey little dreamies to attend to. sorry him then.] ok, as i was saying, that was about 6am, i went back to sleepyland, only to be disturbed again by my mom, to say they'll be going, and that shell drop off my dad to work. so i was like... 'okaaaaay...' then they left. that was 7am. 7:30am, sam woke; and all hell broke loose. that started it. hahaha... i lost my patience, and well had a lil somethin'. my sister said 'you had your daily dose of creaming someone up already'. why? it was so hella early for me to get up! and what happened? i had to get up coz they were being too loud!!!!! so yeah, i kind of beat sam up. he's 11 by the way, an extremely stupid moron of a child with a more patheticly senseless existense than mine. so, he told on me, well acctually, my sister did. coz after i stopped.... no acctually, my sister stopped me. well, i ground him. and made him stand and face the wall. i was gonna make him kneel on gravel, but my sister kept saying you already had your daily dose of beating someone up. so i dropped the subject. err, my mom saw him facing the wall, and sobbing, and she asked what happened. well, my sister cracked and said it wasnt me it was her~!!! and pointed to me. hahahahaha....

when that was over, i mean after my mom had her daily dose of nagging me, err, was that an 8th of it? coz i had plenty more the rest of the day... anyway, i had to do more laundry. why? well cause kane, jacob and kal are leaving tomorrow. which is good, but my mom doesnt work anymore, and being a foster mom is her only flow of dow for now. too bad. i guess she'll get my inet cut off soon to save money. sigh* well, if that ever happens, i'll definitely get a job! whether she lets me or not. i mean i can forge her signature if i wanted to... so yeah. that should kill time, and earn me money... so i could then pay my own inet bills. i could blog once in a while at gramma's.... if not, i might die eventually... id be obese, considering id eat a lot more than i generally do, like now. not that i dont eat a lot of ice creamnow... well, what will i do for all the time i generally spend here all day? sit and watch infomercials? screw that!!! i wonder what will happen? my inbox will be flooded!!! no!!!!! i want my friends to email me at my other email address. not the sarrah_briant one. coz that one's spammed. -_-' use the yahoo acct, or whatever. or leave me offline messages if you can... or have someone make my marble plate thing for my grave. id die. and i mean it.

after lunch, i had to do the folding of the clothes after all. i did all the laundry. and i still had to fold everything... for what? nothing. my sister goes to gramma's and sits there, playing with the playstation, and what? she gets paid 20 bucks. screw that! my mom said she'd pay me. what? she pays me squat! and more nagging... why didnt u do this... blah blah blah... why didnt u do that? blah blah blah... u shuddve done it this way... blah blah blah... and now she's cutting off my inet? screw the world!!!!! well, what... im just a kid and life isnt fair. blah.i sure will miss my blobber~~~ his name is strik3r. screw that person by the way. i hate him coz im liking him too much and i dont even know who the hell he is. and im messed up. or maybe even if she doesnt have my inet cut off, i still wont be online. i dont want to talk to some person. i might spare a few to blog. that may be it... or not...hahahha.... my back hurts coz no one helped me fold up the nice smelling clothes i washed. and she thinks i dont do squat. she doesnt notice if i do something... she only sees what i dont do... which is not wear a dress for instance... or use cutesey words... instead of saying langya, aliw, and ulol all the time. excluding the other bunch of classic swear words i learnt in the streets back home. she thinks badtrip is a guy thing. as if girls cant have a bad day!!! not just a bad day! but one hell of a day!!!!! screw!!!! my mom is such a sexist!!!!

i cant find that other mp3 i want. i dont know what it is tho. who knows... i might accidentally get it with random clicking. tahah~. i had too much coke. and i feel happy all of a sudden. excluding hawaiian punch. hahaha~.... well, tomorrow... i'll clean up the basement. which means i'll have to move that huge couch, and the tables, and rip off the carpets. my mom, instead of appreciating my doing things at home, she thinks im acting boyish. well what? does she expect my loving dad do all the heavy lifting? no... he might break a nail! screw. he's a wimp for all i know. anyway, 'wen, the sweetest dog in the world, will be there to interrupt my heavy work... which makes it take longer... but twice as fun. i sure will miss my inet. and my new place in this house will be at the basement with the dog. and not infront of my pc. my mom made spaghetti for dinner btw. it was ok. i still wish we could have something different. like sushi. hahah~ that's different. eh well, i have no voice in this household. speaking of voice, i lost mine. due to extended hours of singing in the basement with our loving dog browen. who tries not to look disgusted with my voice. well, atleast someone in this house appreciated my efforts. i love you too browen!!!!

mused dettie at 12:00 AM [+]
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hmmm... i got one of them pitas thingies~... teehee... their sample templates suck so bad!!!!!! like eurgh! lol. i wont change my dark stylesheet till.... i get over myself. and be A-ok. i mean... ah nothing. screw that. dont mind me. hmmm... oh well, if it doesnt work, stuff that.

mused dettie at 12:22 AM [+]
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i live in a world of just pretends...
i live in a life of fantasy
i live in a place where i don't fit in
i live in a world of harsh reality
i pretend no one can hurt me
i pretend everything's just great...
i pretend i see no one...
i pretend nothing troubles me...
i pretend i can handle everything...
i pretend im fine...
i pretend im something

it's cruel... its harsh... it's hard.

i can't complain...
i cant change anything
i cant help myself...
i cant pretend i feel like someone...
i can't pretend i exist to someone.
i cant pretend someone cares...
i cant cry.
i cant dare cry.

but its cruel, it's harsh, its hard...

i wont.be bitter for my sake
i wont cry.
i wont be miserable
i wont be on my own
i wont... try fool my self...
i wont... dwell on pain...
i wont hold grudges...
but i cant help it.

it's cruel... its harsh... it's hard.

im hopeless.
a hapless being with no drive
drifting along with other's wishes...
with no dreams of my own
its not fair on me...
its not fair for anybody...
why do things like these happen?
why cant i get back to where i was
where i was way back when?

mused dettie at 11:33 PM [+]
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Fair...
That's not the case anymore.
Fair...
It's left us. What more can I account for?
Fair...
This feeling can't go on forever...
It shouldn't have come...
I promised....
A broken promise of never...

Dare...
Live on... but love; and lie forever...
Dare...
Keep it still; defy what you feel
Dare...
Ignore reality. Dream... Defy gravity.
Fly.

Love...
Never let this go.
Love...
You can't say you love me too...
Love...
I can't say the feeling is mutual
I'd keep my feelings to myself.
Remain casual.

mused dettie at 11:10 PM [+]
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It's Gonna Be Love
--Mandy Moore

It's gonna be me, baby
It's gonna be you, baby

Time, I've been patient for so long
How can I pretend to be so strong?
Looking at you, baby
Feeling it too, baby
If I'm asking you to hold me tight
Then it's gonna be all right

It's gonna be love It's gonna be great
It's gonna be more than I can take
It's gonna be free
It's gonna be real
It's gonna change everything I feel
It's gonna be sad
It's gonna be true
It's gonna be me, baby
It's gonna be you, baby
It's gonna be.....
It's gonna be love

Time in my restless sorrow pool
How can you pretend to be so cruel?
Maybe it's me, baby
Maybe it's true, baby
Maybe it's everything we're dreaming of
We've waited long enough

It's gonna be love
It's gonna be great
It's gonna be more than I can take
It's gonna be free
It's gonna be real
It's gonna change everything I feel
It's gonna be sad
It's gonna be true
It's gonna be you're the one to do
It's gonna be me, baby (me, baby)
It's gonna be you, baby

The sooner you let two hearts beat together
The sooner you'll know this love is forever
(It's gonna be love)
Love needs time now or never
(It's gonna be love)
It's gonna be tough
You gotta believe
It's gonna be strong enough

It's gonna be love
It's gonna be great
It's gonna be more than I can take
It's gonna be free
It's gonna be real
It's gonna change everything I feel
It's gonna be sad
It's gonna be true It's gonna be you're the one to do
It's gonna be hard
It's gonna be tough
It's gonna be more than just enough
It's gonna be love
Oh, it's gonna be love

It's gonna be sad
It's gonna be true
It's gonna be me, baby (me, baby)
It's gonna be you, baby
It's gonna be me, baby, hey (me, baby)
It's gonna be you
It's gonna be....(yeah)
It's gonna be love

waii!!!! so cute song!

mused dettie at 10:40 PM [+]
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hmmm... was planing on changing colors... pero, err, i kept it anyway. just changed a bit. la lang. i need neat images, and cool framing crap to make my place look nice, so to speak. blah. toni's grounded... too bad!!1 lol now i cant get out anymore. were supposed to see the new austin powers movie today... oh well. i want some cookies.

mused dettie at 7:16 PM [+]
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its just so freaky... im home now. safe. well, as i was saying about the day's highlight... its about toni egging my sister to do this 'thing' [need i mention? no. wont, its much too personal.] anyway, its about touching a gross thing. [its not entirely gross, not if; like my sister, you dont know what its about. anyway, i wont bother even going there.] so, we we're at my grandma's house. justin was at tita mina's room, using her pc, while the grown ups were playing mahjong [spell check] at the living room downstairs. the other kids, well they were at the basement. so to speak, toni, me and my sister were at gramma's room. i was supposedly watching charmed, but i seriously zoned off. well, i didnt mean to, honest truth. but in any case, i did anyway, and so it happened.

my grandma's room was fized in a way that the TV was angled so you could see it while your on the bed, and there're a bunch of throw pillows on ther floor. i was on the floor, my sister was on the bed, toying with the remote, and toni was ransacking my gramma's drawers. toni was talking to me about my grandma's underwear or sumthin, but i wasnt paying much attention...so i just said yes yes yes.... ah well, you get the picture. so, it kept at that for about a few minutes. toni was talking to my sister, and they were opgling at something i think; then out of the blue, toni was going ballistic about something, in laughter that is. she was laughing like hell, and all i did was stare at her, quite irrelated to anything. hah~ that's when it hit me that i have to know something. so i asked her a bit.
HUY! yo, what happened you?
consistent laughter. it seemed there was no end to it... teehee
[justin comes walking in... what happened look in his face, eyeing toni suspiciously. generally toni's his sister, and he knew something, someone rather, was scammed.]
toni answered out of nowhere, the bucket! then justin exploded, in laughter. apparently my sister just touched something so dubbed 'the bucket', not knowing. i was making faces, coz i wasnt quite in on the gross joke yet. unfortunately, i looke at toni, and pieced things together. the piece of paper thing my sister touched, due to a consistent egging from toni, was from 'the bucket' which is something generally, no one would dare to even get near. i wont tell anyone who's acctually reading this about the bucket's story... but i got it together... even before my sister did. i, was going bonkers... flailing my hands, as if i was the one who touched it... and went downstairs...screaming. it was so crazy. justin was laughing so hard he nearly fell down the stairs. toni, well toni stopped laughing kin a flash. i dont have a clue how she does that, but i never could do that. i have to slowly, slowly calm down. hahahha.....

anyway, after that 'thing', toni jona my sister and moi, went to the gas station, to rent a movie. bw3ah. we decided to rent a walk to remember... omg. we are such suckers for that kind of thing. well, we were crying at this scene, and tita mina, my mom, tita baby, and my grandma were laughing at us. gawd. justin wasn't even watching, but when we saw it at the theaters he cried. duh. i was gonna, but somehow, the scene was over before i even drwned in tears. anyway, justion wasnt een watching and he was laughing at us for being tearjerkers. bwah. lol. so we told all the grownups who were laughing at us that justin cried loads when we saw it at the movies. bwahahahaha. so dun. he was so red. hahaha... and he was laughing too. weird. we blew him off. bwahahaha... anyway, toni had to leave before the movie was done. sad sad... but then again, we took it home. hahaa... ill watch it later...when i'm done blogging. teehee... ill be all by myself, meaning i can replay the scenes i love. bwahahaha... mom aint home...so's dad. they went with gramma's at the casino. eeh, gramma has a thing for gambling her dow away. anyway, tata~

mused dettie at 11:59 PM [+]
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i'm at my gramma's and its hell. not that everyone's here... well, basically no one's here. just family. its fine i guess.... only things are pretty much, boring me to death. fudge. they dont even have msn on their pc nymore.... screw that!!!! ahhh!!!! well, the tent outside was my rescue. i hung round in it. safe... spared from a tragedy... toni fooled my sister. i was right there... but was extremely zoned out... i was watching tv.then i realized they were laughing like crazed fools. i asked them what the heck was goin' on... hahha... then i was in so much resentment for asking that. ahahaha.... it was so gross. i'd rather not give too much detail. anyway, i laughed like hell in a gross-e out manner. teehee. that was probly my day's highlight. bwahahahaha

mused dettie at 7:05 PM [+]
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i'm screwed... hook line and sinkin'. fudge that. nyways... we're goin' out daw. sucks to be here. honestly... all they do is socialize...and in my opinion they're over doing it bigtime. added tricia to my links. bwahaha... charmy and charisse's cuz. she's soooo nice... she's almost like me. bwah. yo tricia! welcome to the club! lol

yesterday, i was glad we didnt have to eat out after all. i mean dont get me wrong, i love eating good food once in a while... but i found out all of everyone who's anyone in my mom's list will be there... which means more smiling and being lady freakoid. so i was spared. thank heavens for that. today, we'll be at my gramma's... and more socializing with friends of my mom's and cuzins. oh well, toni'll be there, and justin. so i'll be ok. well, more info on my crappy day later wards. bwaah. i think theyre planning on a big picnic... sucks to be me. aaaaah!

mused dettie at 1:29 PM [+]
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got a problem? i didnt post. bwah. too bad. hahaha~

mused dettie at 1:43 AM [+]
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Are You Evil?

In scales of 1 - 10...
good or evil: 5

Good for you, you're human. We all have evil thoughts, and you may have acted on a few of yours, but you're probably okay traveling through Buffy's turf. Or maybe you're an aspiring evil person and you've never given yourself a real chance. Go ahead and forgive yourself for the mean-spirited — but ultimately harmless — pranks you pulled in grade school. Whispering behind your co-workers' backs won't flood you with bad karma. And we've all held out for ourselves in the throes of passion a time or two. So keep listening to that conscience of yours, but don't worry about tuning it out every so often.

not sexually evil or sexually evil: 2

In the bedroom, you don't have an evil bone in your body — well maybe one, but ... aw, never mind. The moral lessons you learned as a child really stuck — we have a sneaking suspicion you're still haunted by the ghost of your parents' first sex lecture ("Heavy petting won't make you popular"). In bed, you're as generous as they come — you always put your partner's needs ahead of yours. And your bedroom is a sacred temple. Overall, you're an enlightened sexual wonder. Just remember, it's okay to go nuts on your birthday.

not passive aggressive or passive aggressive: 6

Don't feel too bad about hiding your anger. At least, not right now. When your spleen ruptures from internalized stress, then you can feel bad about it. Passive people act that way because they're ultimately sweet and don't want to upset anyone. While that may work for the short term, you end up looking like a real back-stabber when you, ah, stab someone in the back. Try to deal with your problems up front, and you probably won't have to renew your concealed weapons permit this year.

not black hearted or black hearted:7.5

We're not going to say you're a bad person, but you're toeing the line. A little advice: Try to think about how your victim will feel before you pull your next dirty prank (we don't care how funny it is when you take out a classifed ad and sell someone's car for them). You may think cruelty is funny, but your friends don't — especially the ones who've been burned by your verging-on-evil ways. Listen to your conscience a little more, okay?

heeh i love emode! bwaah!

mused dettie at 12:01 AM [+]
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Starting Time: 11:11a.m. -07:00[mountain time] (US/CANADA)

Name: Bernadette Joy Fajardo Acosta
Nickname: Badette, Dette, Dettie, 'dot', Detz, Berni, 'Ate Bern', bj, 'Bernard', 'supladette', Detty
School: Bishop O'Byrne Senior High
Eyes: dark brown and deranged. o.O
Height: 5`4" wishes on growing taller...
Siblings: Colei
Been so drunk you blacked out: Got drunk? Yupp! Drunk AND blacked out? Nu-uh.
Missed school because it was raining?: Hell yeah~ Bwah. I didn't want to ruin my new sneaks. Bwaah!
Ever set yourself alight 4 amusement?: Once. Dont ask.
Kept a secret from everyone: Yupp! Loads of evil secrets...
Had an imaginary friend: Loads of 'em! Shuttup you...
Wanted to hook up with a friend: Hook-up being? Well, if it's being together, then yeahsh. In a superlative romantic manner. Phooey. Gimme a break...
Cried during a Flick: Yerp... I'm a sucker for those things... Believe me when I say I hate that side of me.
Ever liked a teacher: Hehheh... Yeah...
Ever thought an animated character was hot? Heehee... Yeah... My mom thought I lost my mind... Kasi I was so obssessing over them. lolz
Ever prank called someone: Been there... Definitely done that. Bweh!
Ever been on stage: Yeahsh. I rocked their minds out. Heehee... I was feverish then... Walang kokontra. Nuff said. What I did...NOYB
------------------FAVORITES------------------
Shampoo: Don't really matter, S'long as they smell nice... Ü
Soap: It's those botanicals thingies that smell like chamomile... Bweeh!..
Colours: blue, silver, black, gray
Day/Night: Night.
OnlineSsmiley: ^^, -_-', =Þ, o.O
lace or satin: ...No comment given. Bweeh!
Cartoon Character: ^^ Fighter! From 8-Bit! Bweeh! And Evil Princess Sara too!
Actor/Actress: Josh Hartnett / Denise Richards
--------------FRIENDS AND CRUSHES------------
Like anyone?: Yes...^^
Who's the shyest: Me? In some ways... Walang kokontra.
Who would you go to for advice: Charmy, Patty, Ate Anne, Gen&Mikee, Ate Angel
--------------HAVE YOU EVER...---------------
Been mean: Err... You decide. In my opinion... I'm nice. so there.
Been sarcastic: Answer to previous question.
Talked to someone you have a crush on?: Err, hehheh YUP YUP!
Missed someone: Definitely... My friends back home...[sob sob**] And some on-line friends I don't talk much to.
Hugged someone: Yeah~ Duh. It's the simplest thing to show you give a damn. Even so, just-pretends.... For show~
Fought with your parents: Duh... Who doesn't? Anyway, we fight about anything under the sun any day given
Wished upon a star: Yeah... The first star I'd see when I look up to the sky...
Laughed until you cried: Yeah.... Most of the time they're not even that funny. If I'm in the mood, I laugh easy.
Watched a sunrise/sunset: Hmmm... Yeah... Love them 'tween moments... and midnite too!
Went to the beach at night: No... But if there's one, I will. I have a thing for those stuff.
Are you talking to someone online: Right now? Nada... But I am most of the time...
-------------DO YOU BELIEVE IN--------------
God/Devil: To some degree. Not whole heartedly though...
Love: Yeah~ Shuttup you... -_-'
Heaven/Hell: Heaven? Not really... Hell? Yeah.
When was the last time you showered? 2:15a.m. Today.
What is right next to you?: My monitor? duh.
What is your computer desk made of? Wood. Bleh...and some fastening thingies which are made of metal...
What are the last 4 digits in your phone? 0255
What was the last thing that you ate?: Ice cream!
Where do you want to go on your honeymoon?: Bahamas... =Þ
Who do you want to spend the rest of your life with: I'll let you know when I find the man.
How many people do you have on your list?: Less than a hundred yata...
How's the weather right now? Gloomy, But warm all the same.
Have you ever smoked pot?: Uhg. No~... Why'd I want to do that?
What did you do last night?: Messed with photoshop helped by Jo [lab u jo!] talked to on-line peoples... And took a shower... Oh that was this morning...
How do YOU eat an Oreo?: Take them apart, then attack the cream... then dunk on some chocomilk... Munch munch!
favorite song?: Right this moment? Eyes on Me from final FantasyVIII, But generally depends on my mood... Bweeh!
Favorite food?: Burgers, pizza, and pasta!!
Favorite movie?: Mushy gushy movies... Bweeh! None specified.
Ever asked someone out?: Not really
If you could change your name, what would it be?: I'll get rid of my middle name. and keep it to Bernadette at that.
Have you ever been in love?: I think so... Seriously mushy gushy love thing? Di pa eh.
What is the stupidest thing you have ever done?: Do you really wanna know? Like really really? Well I wont tell... Okay you made me! I put salt on what I was cooking instead of sugar... And the cake was screwed!!!! I think I poisoned everyone then. Bwaah!
What will your first son's name be?: Short and one syllabled. Bweeh.
what will your first daughter's name be?: Ewan...
Favorite drink?: Caffeine related... and chocomilk.
Favorite musical artists?: Too lazy to type everyone..
Best thing that's ever happened to you? I nearly drowned... Yeah I think that was the best cause of the things that came after... Nuff said... Wahahaha~
Favorite sport?: I'm no sporty person.
If you could have three wishes, what would they be?
a. Romance related. Duh~. b. Life related. c. Success related
Weirdest thing that happened to you this week?: Got mad and forgot the reason of getting mad. Bweeh.
Nicest thing that happened to you this week?: Wala eh.
If you could 'reinvent' yourself, or your look,what would you be?: Taller, and I'd have eyes that work properly... I have hellish bad awful eyes.
How far would you go for love?: Far enough to hear his heartbeat. Bweeh. [how sad. sarcasm*]
What makes you cry?: Anything. Dont wish you'd see me cry though. I'm a tear jerker... But I dont show it.
What bores you?: Most anything boring. Duh~
What turns you on: Excitement, Suspense, Mysterious mood. Bwaah.
What makes you laugh?: Anything... Babaw ng kaligayahan ko Bweeh!
Do you have any bad habits?: Yeah... I slouch too much.
----------WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU...----------
Bought something?: Don't remember...
Did something nice for someone?: Don't remember either...
Heard your favorite song? 5 minutes ago~
Felt happy?: Eons ago...
Broke something?: Yesterday... A glass. Bwaah.
Saw your crush?: June? o.O
Got excited? Last year.
Changed the tv channel/radio station? 15 minutes ago...
Had a party? Err... With my PC? That is a yes.
Did something nice for yourself? Slept... A few hours ago.
--------------DEFINITELY NOT FAVORITES--------------
Celebrity/Celebrities you can't stand? Britney Spears, Soap stars sa 'Pinas'
Food you hate the most? Basta mapakla.... Erck.
Person you'd most like to pack up and send to the moon? Name mention? Do I have to? I'll just type in general. Annoyance of my life.... Pests... Suck-ups... Fakers... Back stabbers... jerks... popularity hunters....
What's a song you'd be happier never hearing again? Shape of My Heart by Backstreet Boys... -_-
What's a moment in your life you'd rather never have existed? Leaving home. [Home isn't here... Home is where I belong... Home is where my friends are... Home is in the Philippnes]
--------------FILL IN THE BLANKS--------------
I think people think I am... : 'quiet kid with evil thoughts', nice, violent, sensible...
I think I am...: introverted, insane, pessimistic
I wish... : My dreams would come true...
I dream...: Of a knight... Too often... Aaah! [whine whine]
I want to...: Persevere...
I don't want to...: Die slow and painfully...
I feel... : Lost
I'm proud...: Of me!
I hate...: jerks, sexists, racists, bullies, demented freaks.
I'd be completely happy if...: ...ewan
I would change... : My whole life if I could
--------------NEARLY THE END...--------------
What time is it now? 12:10p.m
How are you feeling?: Woozy... Gela & Piper sent me this. Bwaah.
What are you going to do after this? Run photoshop.
What are you going to do this evening/tomorrow. Go online... tomorrow... Eat out! It's Trav's birthday!
The last thing you want to say?: Peace you all! ^^v Random eadd click.

Love, dee

mused dettie at 10:36 PM [+]
...

woke up early again. i've been gettin' up real early recently. and it isnt working for me. mom, my sister and father dear arent home. so im stuck here with kane, jacob, sam, kal and trav. oh welli messed with photoshop a bit... did a bg for toni. it sucks soooo bad. sigh* too bad its my first one heres to hoping i'd get better! peace!

mused dettie at 9:28 PM [+]
...

aaaah~..... head hurts. i hafta make toni's bg tomorrow. dammit. blah. annoying crap everywhere honestly... head burns. need to get peace! ah!!!!! hmmm... more piccies. nice piccies of folken. she likes folken... she doesnt even know his name is folken! aaaaah!!!! cand find ecent ones! i'd rather check fan art? ah!!!!!!!!! i want to sleep... and dream of mushy gushy romantic thingies.

mused dettie at 1:54 AM [+]
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3 words
I'm gonna die.
--_--' dont say that's four words, coz i abbreviated am and i am became one. so there.

mused dettie at 1:42 AM [+]
...

k then... i was on the fone with toni, [my cuz] and she was like.... ate badette, ur gona make me a background. and im like? eh? dammit i told u if i knew how id make u one... better, id make one for myself...and she was like... puhhhleaaase... lol... she stayed up all night.... daw. [tagalog na nmn tentenenen!]

so, sabi ko nga kanina, eh, nakalimutan ko na pala. sabagay, lahat nmn nakakalimutan ko. haha! ay... oo nga pala... nakita ko yung sulat ni patty kanina... nde ko parin nammail yung reply ko. patay. kelan pa yun? june pa. hala.... bawawala yung cd ko ng PnE. badtrip~~~~ hmmm... i want some ice cream... mali... nde tagalog yung sentence este pangungusap. ano nga ba ang tagalog ng ice cream kasi? eh sa hindi ko alam eh. basta gusto ko ng ice cream. uulan kaya? parang uulan. naawa kaya sakin ang dyos at pauulanin na din nya dito sa wakas? dapat lang. napakainit na. nakakaalta. altapresyon that is. alam nyo ba yun? yung nde ko din pala alam kung ano yun... ewan. basta... alta presyon... high blood yata. lol. kaya siguro ang initinit ng ulo ko? eh? ewan. ang saya~ tagalog. bwahahaha~

mused dettie at 7:14 PM [+]
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i seriously have to learn how to work with the frickin photoshop thing. argh.

mused dettie at 7:00 PM [+]
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Treat Me Good
--Bachelor Girl

Don't use me
Don't tease me
Don't hurt me
Don't mess with my head
Don't flaunt me
Don't laugh at me
Talk about me
Or ignore what i said

But you can treat me good
Anytime you like
Show me some kindness if I'm lucky tonight
You can treat me good anytime at all

A little caring's all I'm asking for

Don't try me
Lie to Me
Patronise me
Talk down to my friends
Don't neglect me
Forget me
Be angry at me
Say Things to offend

But you can treat me good
Anytime you like
Show me some kindness is I fluke it right
You can treat me good anytime at all
A little caring's all I'm asking for

Everytime I get home
Your suspicious of where I've been
And who I've seen
Your're so jealous of any little thing
That takes up my time
It don't have to be that way baby

Don't hit me
Frighten me
Threaten me
And order me around
Don't guilt me
Pressure me
Make demands on me
Keep putting me down

But you can treat me good
Anytime you like
Show me some kindness if I'm lucky tonight
You can treat me good anytime at all
A little caring's all I'm asking for

blah blah blah lol... tinatamad na ko...

mused dettie at 8:23 PM [+]
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hmmm. charmy, sorry i was afk when u asked me that. anyway... the answer to that is... i'm not sure. maybe if he seemed to try harder? aheehee. jk. la lang. i just dont think he cares anough. **shrugs beats me, basta ganun na yun.** blah blah. I was playin' ff8 heeheehee all day. well, my mom was pissed of coz i did nothing for the i have no idea'th time in my life. too many times i slacked off i couldne keep track. either way; she said i shouldnt be on the computer tonight. **smiles** well, i got creamed anyway so i guess things couldnt get worse? sabi nya pa pag daw naabutan pa ko ni dad na ganun ayos ko makakarinig na nmn daw ako. since when did i care ba? NEVER! hate him to hell. so; hmmm.... kuya jeck just sent me an email. touched nmn si ako. grabe na to. langya. hahahaha.... hmm. la na ko maisip i post. cute nung "useless blob" no? click nyo sha if u want one too^^

STRENGTHS: words; thoughts, spirit, pride, honesty, little-white-lies, faked sleep, cramming homework, patience...[ asa ka pa... hintay ka lang pag napuno na ko...]
WEAKNESSES: icecream; sincerity... [gah; i always drop for them mushy gushy sincere movie scene things... eek], elaborate sweetness; [bwahahahaha....] romantic crap...[yeah im hopeless], cute senseless things...[like that "useless blob", friends asking for favors...[i never can say no...-_-] blabber mouth...[specially when pissed off.... i never get the knack for shutting up when i've had it]

wala na talaga ko maisip.... trobol na nmn kay ermats... ayos ah. buti na lang pala nde ko naabutan si charmy kanina... kundi... hahahha.... wala lang.... ayaw nya kasi na maynagkakagalit. ganun lang yun pero saksakan ng sense utak nun. sorry na lang kasi senseless ako eh... kelangan yata pakatay muna ko sa kanya para matuto ako... blah... peace charmy! ^^v

mused dettie at 7:30 PM [+]
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dette's useless blob
So~ cutie! heehee

mused dettie at 1:53 PM [+]
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"well hmm 3rd day of my reoenting of sins from u ~_~ god well sorry ermm what i said last time i will say it again i know im stupid stupid stupid person i should not have play with ur thought i know its all my fault hope u understand i think this is shorter than last time im gettin tired typing all my msg ~_~ sorry kindda getting lazy lately well im came to say sorry a lot of it and forgive me pls.. later c ya arounf i gues" what he said. nothing changed what so ever. well, i didnt realize he'd be counting days. so i guess it's been three days? hahaha. i didn't even realize. forgotten much... not forgiven yet. Sorry I guess. I just dont see u care. so there.

mused dettie at 10:02 PM [+]
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Ah well mom told me to do this and that shit all day. hahahaha... But something perked me up. Nakakatawa talaga. grabe. "You're definitely inlove with that person...." MY FACE!!!!! Bwahahahahaa..... Hahahahaahah

mused dettie at 9:37 PM [+]
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Day's been entirely sucky. Oh, well, maybe not so. Anyway... I woke up really early again. I got up before 6am. Why? I have no idea. I didnt know what time it was coz the wall clock was too far; and I didnt have my glasses on. I guess it's before 6am coz my dad's alarm went off after I had a cup of coffee. I went back to bed when I heard it. duh, if I stuck round; I'd end up seeing him... And that is the frickin' last thing I want. I lay dreamily on my bed for 2 more hours, before I finally decided to get up. Well, I would've kept it up and tried for more sleep; but my mom started to fuss again... and it was getting to me. I sat doing nothing for two hours. Well, if being deep in thought counts as something, well then I was doing something. By 10am I was online. But, I didn't stick around for I'm scheduled to go to my grandma's with my sister. The rest has been hell. My mom gave us the wrong intructions, and we wound up in the other side of the city. Goodie I had my bus pass. Screw that, I dont go out much, how does she expect me to be citywise? blah. Anyway, We went back home. My mom asked us what the hell we were doing there. Funny. It was so messed up. So we went out again... This time, with the right bus route, bus numbers and stuff. Made me hate my dad more for not taking the train this morning and made us take the city trans instead. So we waited there, for 2 frickin hours... NO BUS CAME! Then I found out that the frickin' bus number tita Mina gave runs during RUSH HOURS! Suxx! My head was spinning like crazy, my knees we're wobbly. I was so damn tired! Then my mom just laughed at their mistakes... and laughed at us!!!!!! I was so wasted.

Stupid FFVIII kept freezing. I wonder where in this fudged up place can I find people who'd fix it for me? I'm too broke to get replacements. Maybe repairs will be cheaper? If not... then I'll get replacements. Ewan. I'm getting hooked kasi eh. That's what I've been doing since we got home. After we ate brunch at 3pm that is. Hahahaha! and now, I'm here. Blabbering away. Later. I guess since the day aint over yet more things may still come? Who knows? Laterwards!

mused dettie at 6:22 PM [+]
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kasalanan ko pa.... grabe. "just try to be serious kasi; para hindi ka napagkakamalang wala kang pakialam... napagkakamalan tuloy na hindi ka sincere..." screw that!!!!!!

mused dettie at 11:34 PM [+]
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Slept well in -to this new fudged up day... Woke up after less than 3 hrs of sleep... Why? My frickin' father-dear had to start this fudged up issue with my mom on ME and my sister. Says I'm too rough for my sake, and my sister's involved in too much socializing... Screw him for all I care. He doesn't nose in on MY business cause I dont fudging give a damn on what the hell he thinks!!! I've been this way since ever... and I'll stay this way. I AM NOT A TOMBOY! Damn anyone who assumes I am just cause I have to fend for myself. They don't have any idea what I have to go through everyday... They don't know me. they dont have bthe fudging right to judge me coz they don't know me! That goes to my so-called father as to everyone else. Leave me alone!!! You don't know me, you don't see what I have to get by just to get days, hour evgen second over with. It's hard to llive when you feel like you should be somewhere else... When you feel you we're stripped off your LIFE just when you were starting to get the hang of it. To what? To get more deranged out of your wits! Life sucks. I hate it. I hate him. I wish I wasn't here. I want to drop dead and be invisble. And just let to BE! God! I am definitely out of league with myself. Damn this. I won't fudging cry. TO HELL WITH THEM ALL!!!!! I hate you.... Ruining my life. I wish you weren't my father. You useless piece of flesh!!!!

mused dettie at 5:35 PM [+]
...

Take the What High School Stereotype Are You? quiz, by Angel.

Nakakainis! Sabi ni mommy sandali lang... Inabot ng hanggang kailan? Mamamatay na ko. Badtrip talaga...

Goodbye to You
--Michelle Branch

Of all the things I believe in
I just want to get it over with
tears form behind my eyes
but I do not cry
Counting the days that past me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
Looks like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend and I say

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I love
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems like I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light but it's not right

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
And it hurts to want everything & nothing at the same time
I want whats yours and I want whats mine
I want you but I'm not giving in this time

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And when the stars fall I will lie awake
You're my shooting star

Fudge that... Can truelly relate... Dammit.
"I want you; but I'm not giving in this time~"

mused dettie at 7:19 PM [+]
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charmy and i decided on a title... STILL

mused dettie at 7:38 PM [+]
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Counting days as they pass me by
No sense of direction... No more
Still...
Thoughts drift back to you.
Thoughts find their way back to you...
Could it be I held on tight...
When I said I've let go of you?
Again...
You occupy my mind...
You're just plain cruel yet seem so kind...
Will you ever think of me once?
Or will I leave this all to chance?
Tears hide behind my eyes...
You won't see me cry.
My heart feels shaken...
My mind defies...
Never...
Will this end?
Agony of twisted thoughts?
Company of sweet-sad memory
But there's no you and me...
Always been just you...
Always been just me...

wala pang title eh... so there.

mused dettie at 7:32 PM [+]
...

1 minute ago: looking for my not so recent mp3.
1 hour ago: i was talkin to charmy
1 day ago: thursday? charmed was on? LOL ewan... nothing interesting happened...
1 year ago: last time i called back home. and acctually got to talk to someone...
Things I want: a bass, peace-up, TC to get up and runnin' again....
Songs I listen to: OST from Lilo & Stitch; and A Walk to Remember OST too.
Things accomplished: new layout? darker more mystified. bwah.
Windows open: the one next to me.... IE [blog edit/blog page/yahoo ml], RealPlayer, mIRC, Dette's files folder
Things around the computer: my blue mug^^, a headset... my classic camera [the proffessional looking one]... my notebook... a bunch of pencils. a pen, my shirt, the blue blanket, my pillow, a stuffed animal gator thingie
Thoughts of now: i hate mind games!
E-mails: junk mails... ad's... ml digest.... test results from emode...
Lyrics: "are you aware of what you make me feel, baby? right now i feel invisible to you, like i'm not real"[losing my grip --avril lavigne].
Random: my head's gonna blow~.
Spell your name backwards: ettedanreb yoj [interesting...]
Where do you live: Calgary, AB, Canada.
Describe yourself in three words: maddened, lost, confuzzled
Who is your worst enemy? why the hell would i tell?. =Þ
If you could have ANY animal for a pet, what would it be? a dog. i'd name arren. [as in R N]
Do you know what a spork is? some kind of sport... some kind of sport? or mebbe some sort of animal... animal? or mebbe some kind of a made up word. what ever the hell..i dont care.
What is the latest you've ever stayed up? ? basically never sleeping at all... thats literally later than any time... bwah..
Ever been to belgium? nu-uh.
Toothbrush? blue handle... with blue and white bristles... and a lighhtblue grip rubber thingie..
Jewelry worn daily: Earrings...
Shoes: i want a new one~...
Nail polish: I don't wear nail polish... either not interested enuff... or just plain lazy to put it on.
Handbag: i do not do handbags either..
Perfume: Tommy girl...
CD in stereo right now: Let Go --Avril Lavigne
Tattoos: None. id like a blue butterfly tho... a lil dinky blue butterfly... Ü
Piercings: ear piercings..
Current music: dunno
Wearing: regulars... over-sized gray shirt, black shorts.
Hair: about 3 inches above my waist..
Makeup: i dont do make up.
In my mouth: jolly rancher... watermelon flavor
In my head: someone's name over and over and over again.
Hearing: simply jessie... bwah
Wishing: im not messed up...
After this: i'll eat. something... maybe... or not. ewan.

mused dettie at 3:55 PM [+]
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I'm fine! I'm fine! Whatever! Ü

mused dettie at 2:53 PM [+]
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Sleepless in Calgary Fudge that. I want to freakin' sleep... No offense to Mr. Sandman for screwing up, but I think he needs to be replaced. He's definitely losing his touch! Or maybe his magic sleepy sand are polluted and aren't as pure as they used to be... Either way; the problems better be fixed or else I'm none-the-less scrwed... Big time!. Summer's half over... I need to keep track of my life or else I'd be wandering off somewhere.... Where? Some place I definitely don't want to be in. Dreams/nhightmares give you clues on those horrid things. Ahhh! Life's bnever fair... That's for sure.

mused dettie at 2:50 PM [+]
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This is just great. I just found out we're out of donuts. The hot water tank is busted AGAIN! And my sister's watching TV. Maybe I'll draw? Who am i kidding? I can't draw!!!! Aaaaah!!!!! My brain is gonna blow!!!!! Dammit... who the hell could be thinkin' of me at this frickin hour? Oh, dismissal na sa pinas... Maybe them jerkies are thinkin' of me wacky after school gigs? LOL Dammit. Of all the days~ Shuddve slept early. Ano bang date ngayon? Holy... Date nung last camp trip namin sa school! Aliw! NBaka naalala nila nung minamalat ako, tapos nilalagnat pa, tapos naambunan pa ko nung ginagawa namin yung tent, tapos may group member presentation dapat tapos nagback-out yung representative namin... Tapos ako yung nagwala sa harap ng girl congregation ng buong school. BALIW!!! Katawa. Paos pa ko... tapos kumakantakanta ako dun... tapos... sabi nila nagwala daw akio~ LOL That was funny... and completely whacked. BLINGBLING! Kakatawa... Reminisce~ LOL

mused dettie at 1:52 AM [+]
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I cant seem to sleep. What did I do to deserve this? Sigh... Pieces of your minds? E-mail me. I need someone to talk to I guess. Otherwise, I'll go back to my solitude. Hate this... Need to sleep! I didn't get to ride kanina. Suxx, Ahhhhh!

'Bout that messed up person who messed with ate Lek's site... Damn... I asked Aeon if he knew any of it... He said he doesn't. He doesnt even know ate Lek personally... Screw that person with no life who's condemning Mark and Aeon! `Sides Mark's laptop's broken, so they couldn't've done it. Hmmm... It wasn't really them... I mean I know them pretty well. I wonder who really did it~? Damn them to hell anyways... Whoever the hell they are~... Ate Lek doesn't deserve that. If it were me, well maybe it'll be fine. Errrgh, Scratch that... I'd generally be pissed off... Totally. I'd be all over the place cussing them too hell! LOL

I want to sleep. Dammit. Maybe someone won't let me sleep and wants me to think of them? Maybe BEE is... Heehee... Wonder if he did get that email i sent him? I mean... I do love him... But no means of contact what-so-ever is driving me bonkers!!!!! Plus I don't feel connected anymore... [Well literally we're not...] I kind of wish he did, and somehow wish he didn't; get it. I hated the things I put in that mail... They were stupid stuff! And some aren't even reality. Galing yata sa movie... LOL Sigh* Anyway, I feel terrible, my brain is messed... I need sleep. Please let me sleep bee... Don't think of me too much. Hehheh. Wonder if that's really true? That if someone's thinking of you; you dont get to sleep properly? Bunch of rubbish...? Well, no matter. Just please have mercy on me... [I buy too much of that superstitious crap] Anyway; p[erson... who wont let me sleep...[duh... bee ]I'll be on the bed... Let my mind go! I need to sleep... So don't think of me, k? Love you for that!!! Loads and loads of it! Hmmm. Wonder if I'd dream of anything tonight? If it's that freaky knight dream again... I'd blow. Maybe I'd take a shower before I go sleep? Ah, I'll have a donut first... Then take a shower... Then watch Daria re-runs... Then sleep.

mused dettie at 1:29 AM [+]
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I don't play mind games... I've never been good at it. So if you have something to say; well then say it! I know well enough that you do hate me. But quit saying things that you never finish! God, its not like I don't think much of other things... It's not like ... NEVER MIND! You won't ever understand me, just as you said I'll never understand you. By the way; incase you never noticed, did it ever cross your mind that as a friend, the reason I never understand you is cause you wouldn't let me? It doesn't count much that you don't... I respect your privacy. I don't care! Problem with you is you never see anything in a person. Give me a break! After all these time; you'd think I wasn't being honest? Come on!!!!! I thought I knew you... Well I guess I was wrong then... Considering there's nothing! You don't even trust me... You don't even see me as a real friend! Okay, fine. It's all online. Whatever! Some friend you are...

mused dettie at 7:43 PM [+]
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mean person!!!! [ u know who u r] nuff said ...

mused dettie at 7:21 PM [+]
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i love `wen. so so so much!

mused dettie at 6:55 PM [+]
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fudge...... nothin' to do~ i'll go... have a stare fight with my fan. my ceiling fan that is.

mused dettie at 1:46 AM [+]
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i'm not sleepy yet.

mused dettie at 12:31 AM [+]
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Hopes... Thoughts of you
Fantasies of a dream come true.
Losing grip... Falling fast...
I knew things would never last

Fate... I believe in destiny
Look at me!!!
Look at where it's got me!
Letting go of pain and misery
Your plain blunt honesty got me.

It was fine... Everything's okay.
Before you came; got in my way
Pre-destined? They would say...
I pushed you away... But you decided you'd stay!

okaaay then.... i cant thread words together anymore... lol... im so bored. charisse slept... and i'm on my own. aaaaah!!!!!!! head's gonna blow. i'll sleep. hmmm... ate lek said the messed up person who messed with her site's blog mention mark and aaron... wonder who the hell is that demented freak? hmmm. secrent agent side of me... get to work dammit!!!! oh im blue!!!! yay!!!

mused dettie at 11:22 PM [+]
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hmmm.... i think i spoke too soon. hahahaha..... he found a way out.... lol but charisse thought he was mad... matty never gets mad... i mean he doesnt get seriously mad.... specially not to charisse hahahaha!!!! well; we were talkin to nikki too~! but she had to go right away!!!!! U_U i miss her so much.... well she's rehabilitated-ed coz they moved and her folks didnt get their inet back... so she's using the free trial AOL disc thingie. its so hot. i wanna sleep naked. NOT like id ever do that~.... wahahaha remimded me of a sick person.... **eyes matty lol... now im perked.... dammit!!! i was waiting for an email from bee... did he get my last email? well if he did he shouldve mailed back!!!!! ack. i really love mmy blog.... it is so enigmatic!!! so dark and mystified!!!!!

mused dettie at 11:08 PM [+]
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^^ some people are well perked up today. i just adore my blog.... its so dark and mystified!!!! wahahahaha!!!! bad person messin;' with ate lek's site!!!!! die!!!!!

mused dettie at 10:59 PM [+]
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ladidum~

bernadette, your true color is Blue!

You're blue — the most soothing shade of the spectrum. The color of a clear summer sky or a deep, reflective ocean, blue has traditionally symbolized trust, solitude, and loyalty. Most likely a thoughtful person who values spending some time on your own, you'd rather connect deeply with a few people than have a bunch of slight acquaintances. Luckily, making close friends isn't that hard, since people are naturally attracted to you — they're soothed by your calming presence. Cool and collected, you rarely overreact. Instead, you think things through before coming to a decision. That level-headed, thoughtful approach to life is patently blue — and patently you!

oh yeah~

mused dettie at 6:20 PM [+]
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darker much. harder to read. maybe the lazier ones will leave it alone. happy day~

mused dettie at 11:10 PM [+]
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"Sabi ko kasi sayo wag ka na lang umakyat dyan eh... Ngayon di ka na makababa." --'friend'
"Sino bang may sabi na hindi na ko makababa? Medyo naiilang lang ako sa ayos ko. Kaya hindi muna ako bumababa. Yun lang!" --me
"Arte mo. Ayaw pang umamin. Bahala ka na nga!" --'friend'
[walks away.] 'Hoy!!!!! Gagong to. Wag kang umalis.... AAAAH!!!! Pano na ko!!!!!!! WAaaaah!!!'
"Edi umalis ka sinong tinakot mo ha? Para namang mamamatay ako dito kung umalis ka. Kaya kong bumaba magisa!" --me

Friend's back with a ladder, leans the ladder against the tree branch, climbs up toward me. Not a word said. [I was "sleeping"] He was staring at me...**I think...** I was pretending I was sleeping, but don't tell him I was just pretending...** I couldn't see what he was up to, so I sort of pretended a fake sort of caming-to. And saw him there...

"Oooh. What now? Mock me to death and rub it in that I am stuck? Yeah that's a bit right. I am a bit stuck. So there. What do you care anyways? Umalis ka na lang... Wala kang mapapala dito." --me.
"Yeah? Shut up and I'll help you down miss suplada person I know not." --friend
What the? Yeah well I sort of didn't realize I was up the tree, and he was standing on a ladder. I must've looked entirely stupid. Anyway, hindi naman siya tumawa. I got down the tree and we returned the ladder without talking. Nung nasa bahay na namin kami, I invited him in.

"Wag na wag mo nang gagawin uli yun sakin. Pano kung nabalian ka ha?"--friend
He run off before I even got to say anything. Tumawa na lang ako nung nakaalis na siya.

mused dettie at 5:57 PM [+]
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take the death quiz.
and go to mewing.net. laura = great.

amusing^^ nice.

mused dettie at 5:26 PM [+]
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im gonna die.

short eh? hey it doesnt end there... and well i sure feel that way. yo dont worry its nothing person related... or emotion distress or wotnot. just physically wasted. i'll go out later... and ride a bit. i hate it when my dad takes my bike to the basement. i leave it outside... but he says someone might steal it. yeah... like as if. it sucks like hell why the hell would anyone wanyt to steal it? i woke up a few ago with my hair all over my face. irritating. i slept last nite forgetting to undo the braid my mom did. i woke upand the elastic was gone somewhere... and definitely... my hair all over me. so yeah... figures why i feel sucky. day started out sucky psh.

charmy wants to go back home too. hmmm. i feel the same. yeah i changed a whole lot when i got here. i became mo re of a loner. i mean... suplada daw ako back home. lumala pa yata eh. well... nde naman ako makarelate sa mga interests nila dito. i happen to think boys and make-up isnt everything and that makes me stand out from the crowd in a sort of not good way daw. well, too bad for them. i miss my old friends. kaso nmn nagkasabaysabay pa yatang lumipat sila. last time i called... mariva's moved back to cagayan daw. sabi ng ate nya... and she didnt give me the fone number. bad ate ex! raymar... well second to the last time i called... i called shielo... sabi nya... nagpadeport daw si raymar sa mindoro after nung umalis ako. tumawag ako sa kanila that same day... sabi ng mommy nya wala nga daw at nasa mindoro. inasar pa nga pala ako ni shielo na nawala din daw si raymar nung huminto na ko sa school. sayang... nde ko na nakausap uli. sigh* miss my best bud. sabi nga pala nung mommy nya wala daw silang fone sa mindoro. tapos... iniwan daw ni raymar yung celfones nya. [yeah plural, maluho yung ungas eh... eh pero kinocorrupt ko nmn yung isa nyang fone lalo na pag may load.] si jazmin... ewan ko dun. weve never been close. lagi lng nmn yun bumubuntot samin ni mariva... kasi nagpapacute sha sa mga nanlilugaw kay mariva... bwahaha... si angielli; ewan... mula nung nameet nya si vergel nya... nung nadun pa ko, mashado nang naging paranmoid na iiwan sha nung guy. to think he isnt that cute. pagibig nga nmn daw. bwahahaha... si carlo... hay naku... naputulan na. eh nde ko nmn alam kung san na yun lumipat... sabi nya kasi nung bago ako umalis lilipat na sila. si aaron... nabalitaan ko din kay shielo na sila ni mariva fthat time. sabi ko na nga ba at trip ni AA si mariva eh. naging sila din pala. well... if i didnt know better... sasabihin kong sila parin till now. pero... knowing mariva... la na yun. last year pa din nmn kasi yun eh. si MK; hmmm... ewan... malamang nagrepeat yun. or nag drop out na. baliw yung hayop na yun eh. kasabwat ko bwehehehehe..... kakamiss sila. considering na magulo maingay at abnoxious ako nun... walang wala sakin ngayon. i cant even recognize me na. ewan. sabi ng kapatid ko, nagiba na daw ako. plus i dont write anymore... draw neither. dati kasi lagi akong nagsusulat... or wotnot just for the heck of it. ngayon... la na~ hay nako. gusto ko na din umuwi. this isnt for me. i feel like i dont belong here... kahit na nadito pamilya ko. sigh*

mused dettie at 11:50 PM [+]
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i talked to sis fran a few ago! yay!!! she was one of my bestest chatmates from WAA. blah. i'be known her for ages now. and dhebz. i missed her so so so much!!!!! i'm too lazy to put the details here.... but i might tomorrow. bwah. i forgot to drop by tagrosa. bwahahaha... wonder what they've cooked up? blah.

mused dettie at 11:09 PM [+]
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bernadette, you are a Muse!

Known for your creative powers, you Muses are the poets and musicians of life, the patrons of the fine arts. It's funny, though — even with your inspirational prowess, you're probably not the type to boast about your guitar-strumming skills, or your latest published book of verse.

While it's great when people flock to you for ideas, there probably is a part of you that prefers to blend in sometimes — whether dressing in muted shades or staking out a one-on-one conversation at parties and social events. But try as you might not to hog the spotlight, others can't help but notice you. Must be hard to be such a goddess!

Despite any lingering modesty, you might be surprised at how much your mere presence can help improve the lives of those around you by infusing them with ideas and good thoughts. With that kind of healing energy, your inspirational ways have the potential to change the world, Muse. Whether you're scribbling sonnets, boogying with your friends, or drawing your own constellations — you're tapped in. So keep your eyes wide open to the possibilities and let that inspiration flow!

WUTTA MAJOR FAKE!!!!!

hmmm. here's another one.

bernadette, your Emotional IQ is 116.

This number is the result of a formula based on how many questions you answered correctly on Emode's Emotional IQ test. But your Emotional IQ score is much more than just a number: it's an indicator of success.

Research has shown that people with high emotional intelligence scores — not necessarily those with the highest IQ scores — tend to be the most valued and productive employees and have the longest and happiest romantic relationships.

So, where are you most emotionally smart? Your test results show that your strongest suit is empathy — your ability to see things from someone else's point of view.

and another one...

Don't look now! Your inner superpower is INVISIBILITY! Your answers show a remarkable talent for secrecy and hidden observation slumbering someplace beneath your quiet exterior. Awaken those dormant powers, and soon you'll find yourself completely hidden from the eyes of all. Okay, it's true that invisibility can sometimes be annoying. People tend to ignore you. At restaurants it might take a while for you to be served. But don't take it personally. They don't do it out of spite. It's just that you are, after all, sometimes a little difficult to see. Don't let it get you down. In this hectic world where it seems like everybody wants a piece of your time, invisibility is your ticket to freedom. When you think about it, being invisible has all sorts of bonuses. Take, for instance, the ability to find privacy and solitude in any circumstance. Then there's the special perk of being able to sneak unnoticed through crowded rooms, easily avoiding all the annoying people you'd rather not talk to. And that's just a start — imagine strolling naked through a crowded street for laughs! You've probably wished many times that you could just disappear. Well, now you can. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, think of transparent things and prepare to be invisible.

aliw nmn...

mused dettie at 10:13 PM [+]
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i wanna post more tests from emode. nice. hmmm. btw i saw them test thingies over at charmy's blog. hahaha~ im alive charmy.... just a bit woozied out.

mused dettie at 3:38 PM [+]
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Find your emotion!

Take the Which Utada Hikaru Song Are you? Quiz!
i'm bored to hell

mused dettie at 3:19 PM [+]
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ah i fixed it. nice. time for a totally tagalog blog i reckon. i love old words. layterwards

mused dettie at 12:09 AM [+]
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hmmm... something's messed up with my blog

mused dettie at 11:52 PM [+]
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Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Very High
Schizoid:	High
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	Moderate
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High
-- Click Here To Take The Test --

mused dettie at 11:48 PM [+]
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btw my hair is braided!!!!!!!!!! cool~

mused dettie at 11:01 PM [+]
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ok so now i'm at my house... using my own PC. no offense to my aunt's aite? but her PC's so fucked-up. **oopsies** i kinda promised i wont use that 'nymore.
anyways; our relates from hawaii were here in calgary. so the grown-ups decided to have a bit of a get together. ^^ it was a bit fun... well; as always... gramma's cooking was great. i wouldn't have come... only; toni made me. i sort of didnt have a choice. ^^ so yeah. i was learning how to play pusoy. U_U but they would just check out my cards... but not acctually teach me. i whined all the while... well that wasnt fair!!! they're supposed to educate my poor mind....

remember last year i acctually got a skateboard coz i thought they were cool and its just a cinch learning? well; yeah... i fell once... and sold my deck. bwehehehe... so now... ram got a skateboard from his brother. so i was trying... but i suck. so i gave up on it after about 3 tries. my sister's gotten the knack of it after a few minutes. so now she can skateboard. ^^ cool~ hmmm... more testing thingies~ bwehhehehe... did y'all who-read-my-blog see that? i'm a secret agent!!!!! bwehehehheeh so fun!!!

mused dettie at 10:42 PM [+]
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blahahaha....i'm at my gramma's. more info laterwards. ^^

mused dettie at 10:04 PM [+]
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i took another IQ test thingie at EMODE and it says my IQ is 124. it also says chances are i'd make an inspired inventor. blah. also says i have a balance between mathematical and verbal thingies; plus it also says i have a strength for coming up with ideas. that definitely doesnt seem right... blah.

here's another test.

bernadette, you're a Secret Agent!

Your personality is actually determined by two personality sub-types — your primary, or dominant sub-type, and your secondary sub-type. You are a Secret Agent which means you are a Thinker / Seeker. Your primary sub-type is defined by "Thinker" characteristics and your secondary sub-type is defined by "Seeker" characteristics.

That means you're basically a smart, shrewd loner. Chances are although you prefer solitude, you're a deeply caring person full of energy and ideas. On a personal level, you're sensitive. You may worry too much about how you compare to others, and your mood suffers under such intense personal scrutiny.

How do we know all this? How do we know that you like to work in a cubicle and eat lunch at your desk? How could we have divined that you possess a critical eye that assures your final product is always top rate?

Because while you were taking the test, you answered four different types of questions — questions that measured confidence, apprehension, willingness to take risks, and your focus on experience versus appearance — the primary traits that determine your personality. Based on your responses, we determined your personality type, Secret Agent.

and another one

Dog

C'mere, boy — in your former life you were a beagle named Scooter who hailed from Allamakee, Iowa. The cutest puppy on the entire farm, you were so adored that the Allamakee High Junior Varsity Basketball team chose you to be their mascot. You absolutely loved the attention — the cheers, the cool purple-and-yellow jersey, and, most of all, the pizza parties after the games. But you fell out of favor when your sister gave birth to Niko, a snot-nosed young pup who became the newest recruit for the JV team's mascot position. As Niko's popularity grew, the team began to neglect you. No longer did they chant your name when they held you over the basket to slam dunk the ball. No more did they make T-shirts with your adorable mug above the "Antonio's Chinese Food" logo. Then, finally, they fired you when you bit the point guard's mother. After much moping and grieving, you decided to be happy for little Niko. So, armed with your new contentment, you found it in yourself to support Niko and the JV team — not from the court, but from your new spot in the bleachers.

mused dettie at 10:45 PM [+]
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aliw~ no one's on. bwah. xept for francis that is... and he does nothing in his frickin' life but annoy people. mostly me. bweheheh. anyways... it was so hot yesternight. but its pretty much ok today. its nice and a bit windy. ^^ woosh... i might go riding in a bit. maybe round 11, when the sun's out. bwahahaha. hmmm.... ice cream. wish my mom takes pity on me... sigh* hmmm... layterwards.

mused dettie at 8:33 PM [+]
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hmmm.... no blog yesterday~ well sides the fact that i was trying to find a nice pic of a black haired anime girl with pretty eyes and that... i wasnt really doing anything interesting. BTW; thanks matty for helping^^ owe u loads! anyways...charmy sent me a message; only i was away... its nothing much... she was just asking if i was doing anything... i was cleaning up our house. hell... it was too messy... and the frickin' air in here is over stuffy.... so i tried my best to make it more home like. bla~h...

my friend called again yesterday... asking about the gig again... well... its still the same stat. still a definite NO. so... we complained a bit about having un-fair parents... then he dropped by... well, my mom would've said something about some guy dropping by for me. hahhah... as if i just broke the biggest hate rule of my life. were just good friends anyways... still! good thing she and my rotten father aint home. goodie. we stayed out in the lawn... which suxx. [yeah our lawn suxx big time] and he tried to let me hear out the new song they were playing... only; the chords are too complicated! hehheh... so im definitely out of the play-the-song-with-us deal. he said i'd sing. i told him i would if he wanted the sun to stop shining and the moon to get a go at us with a crash landing; so he left. hmm.

my mom's at a wedding... my dad's off somewhere... my sister's at someone's place.... maybe watching a movie... me... well, im here... at home... with no life ahead of me what so ever. blah blah blah.... running out of things to say. hmmm...


take free enneagram test

mused dettie at 8:00 PM [+]
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charmy's so mean... she wont believe me... she keeps insisting!!! aah!! as if i'd tell him if i still do~ duh. anyways... yeah i just saw mykel, and aimzkie after ages and ages of lost contact!! woohoo!!! yehey!!!!!!

i just got a call from my bestest bud...and they gots a band gig...and he wants me to come... only i cant...coz im grounded. he doesnt believe i am... but i really really want to. he said he'd let me sing...as if! hey? i feel like i just betrayed my bestest buds... and my self. i mean..come on!! they'd let me play... even tho they know i suck... well, he said we still have 2 weeks to practice...and i can memorize one song in that time... they just know i love that... but i really am grounded... aaah~~~~.....not fair!!!!!

my apologies to charmy for dumping my life's hell on her. and i'd say matty, me u and charisse was fun... hahaha~ we should do that more often... hahaha~

i still feel bad about the gig. i mean they'll let me do what i love... and risk their entire gig. just so i could come with them... i sure wish... well he said its ok and it isnt a real big gig. so it doesnt count much... im sure he'd call again later... before i go sleep... to talk me over... he knows i feel bad... probably...sigh* i wish all people in this world are like him! so nice!!! love u bestbud!!! charmy... u cant die yet... even tho ur grandpa'd murder u... u have to believe what i told u first before u die!!! ok?

mused dettie at 9:39 PM [+]
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charmy's got no inet? oh no~ ah! anyways... i got nothing to say... atleast not much... well, i always manage to make posts longer than what i really have in mind... generally my mind is empty. bah~ i just had a miserable half hour downstairs... well, not really... coz i went to feed my dog...and he was so sweet^^ aww.... yeah... hmm... its the 11th in indonesia... i hope the girl whom i stole the wallpaper i have now is back on her feet^^ anyways... switchfoot's really cool^^ wow... yjhay's dropped by here!!! hello yjhay! i feel woozy... and my head is gonna blow. im confuzzled... im listening to learning to breathe by switchfoot... its really cool! i really like the lyrics.... sigh* i kind of lost my strength. sigh* charmy~ sharisse~ sigh* where art thou? they got no inet... aaah~! no!!!!!! deedee's all alone~ xept for matty that is... only he keeps reminiscin' the old times...heehee... yo nice matty. quit being a jerk....--_--'

mused dettie at 8:37 PM [+]
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Congratulations! Your general IQ score is 112.
A person whose IQ score falls in the range of 111-128 is considered to be "above average intelligence".


this testing thing i did was from ivillage. wahaha~

mused dettie at 6:20 PM [+]
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Are you NASTY or NICE?
Quiz made by Angela

There's no two ways about it - you're really nice. You consider others before yourself and aren't afraid to stand up for people you care about. Relationships are important to you, and the friendships you have are for life.

uh-huh!!! woohoo! i'm nice~~~ wahahah~ btw, i saw this thingie at charmaine's blog ^^

mused dettie at 1:40 PM [+]
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okaaay here's another song... just read the llyrics, amd if it doesnt get to u hit me... you might not like it... but i like it other wise... so there.

I Dare You to Move
--Switchfoot

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next?
What happens next?

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself off of the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself off of the floor I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where're you gonna go?
Where're you gonna go?
Salvation is here

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself off of the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before

mused dettie at 11:57 PM [+]
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Listen: GooGoo Dolls; IRIS
Wishing: my mom to go somewhere else! i wanna get out of this place!
Thinking: maybe i should lock myself up in the trunk; and die there in peace~

okaaay then... listen to ninedays....and goo goo dolls, and creed, and greenday, and avril lavigne, and the calling, and 3 doors down, and incubus, and PnE...and switchfoot... and our lady peace... and simple plan... and sugar cult... and hoobastank.... wahahah~ this house is driving me insane! i need to get out of here...and go somewheres else!!!

mused dettie at 4:54 PM [+]
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WARNING! WARNING! evil thoughts... i just remembered about what this guy from my class said... i told my sister `bout it and she said...'whoa~'... ya'wanna know what they said? "she's the quiet kid with the evil thoughts i tell ya" my sister said laughingly; 'what can be more accurate than that?'
that is pretty cool... i am undeniably quiet... sounds lame huh? but who knows what twisted thoughts are going on in my evil head? now that's extremely enigmatic~ hmmm... charmy's at work? i never get to talk to her nymore~ ah!!!! head hurts...wish my mom wont remember im grounded btoday... i wanna see hey arnold...muhahaha~

i just love this song~

I'm With You
--Avril Lavigne

I'm Standing on a bridge
I'm waitin in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
Theres nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but theres no sound

Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't someone please take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I'm, I'm with you

im looking for a place
searching for a face
is there anybody here i know
cause nothings going right
and everythigns a mess
and no one likes to be alone

Isn't anyone tryin to find me?
Won't someone please take me home
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I'm, I'm with you

oh why is everything so confusing
maybe I'm just out of my mind
yea yea yea

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Wont you take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I'm, I'm with you

Take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I'm, I'm with you
I'm with you

Take me by the hand
take me somewhere new
I dont know who you are
but I'm, I'm with you
I'm with you
I'm with you...

mused dettie at 2:49 PM [+]
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hmm~ hello !!! i am sooo wasted... totally... eyes are melting! wahaha~ i couldnt sleep... my sister neither.....wahaha... too bad...someone said...i maybe am an insomniac....no!!! i cant be one!!! no!!!!!

mused dettie at 2:21 PM [+]
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Ü i'm so happy~ dad tried netmeeting... but somehow it wasnt working... its ok dad vinnie ^^ yeah miss u and kuya burayan... and i miss dinx and keena and reg and other people too! like ria and gail, and gen and mikee!!! and ate chiax!! waaah! aeon's obssessing over skuld... from OMG... hahaha!

obviously my day's going pretty good. well, right now that is... maybe cause it's rained pretty good! i love the rain Ü the rain soothes my tormented soul... nice excerpt. hmmm... i saw this place where u do a survey thingie~... its so fun... lalala! so yeah... my day's pretty up beat... BTW, i love switchfoot's version of only hope... love it love it!!! i wanna learn how to play guitars!!!!!!!! oh, again... listen to kylie minogue's love at first sight... its really spunky and upbeat...^^ and our lady peace... well just anything by our lady peace's not too bad for me^^ lalalala! Ü i feel hungry... i better eat again... i ate an apple-caramel lollipop a few ago and some potato salad... and it kind of soothed my tummy... ^^ but now im hungry again! okaaaaay i'll eat and sleep early!! yey!!! Ü

mused dettie at 10:35 PM [+]
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hahaha~ i just saw charmy's day blog... hehehe... yo sorry i was still sleeping that time. --_--' heheheheh goodluck with the-so-called-job of urs aite?

anyways... i dreamt i was online talking to *him* heeheehee. i am so crushing on him... damn!!! he was singing 'fly me to the moon' yata, but i think i was just half asleep, and was just hearing it play... i left the pc on just for my frickin mp3's... kasi nmn my mom wont gimme any money!!!! [just so i can buy an mp3 player^^] **giggle** peste sa buhay! it's still overly hot dammit! can mother nature be any more merciless? please have mercy and let it rain when my sister and i'd go watch a movie. i wanna watch MIB2... or the tom cruise one. damn eyes that guy has. **dreamy**

yo! people who thinks i am a tomboy... just read my blogs and think again!!! in ur faces!!! muahahaha! so who's a tomboy? i'd so love to have a fist fight with anyone who'd say it's me. for sure for sure!!!

i wonder what the heck's utada hikaru singin about? i wish i understand japanese... psh. ahahah~ i just got my finger caught between the door hinge thingie... and it hurts. i'm laughing coz it was stupid of me to get stuck in it in the first place! 'eternally' by utada hikaru sounds nice... i just wish i knew what the hell she's saying in those damn songs!!! hmm... i just had another song thing done... wrote it up words and all... last night- morning.. ack. which ever, it was still dark, so it's night^^ so... yeah... it's a mushy one; yet again. hahahaha! i wish i can make out chords for it... i hate guitars... ive been inlove with it since ages ago... but i never learnt anything useful yet. hahah! pity me. bwahhahahaha!

yo... does any of u guys remember kuya monyong? yupp. dmonyong. well, he's in need of help. well, ya see, his sister's at St. Lukes Hosp. Leukemia. in need of a donor. i feel bad... tho i know that wont do her any good. i wish to help out... but cant. sigh* anyways... ifyoure interested to help; or just plain interested, check out neo-weareanime.

**blink blink** wonder where's charisse's blog? hahhah... oh well... oh, i just remembered i never ate anything since yesterday... and im starving. i did have somethoing for dinner... but it was awful... trust me, i made it... and it was burnt. im soooo hunger striken. and since i just had my damned eyes open up to a new blasted day a few ago, serves me right to miss breakfast and lunch altogether. blah. i'll go grab some grub. love u guys!

mused dettie at 4:25 PM [+]
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i've been, uh, thinkin' bout sumthin... it seems insane and all... [like most things i say, do, whatever else related to me] but it's like, something wrong. i mean... with me. my mind? dammit! i cant get to it. what day is it? oh, monday. dammit! i noticed firsts of weeks, or months have weird affects on me! [sure thing bernadette. good call. blame the days and wotnot huh?] how pathetic is that!?!?!?1 aaah!

BTW, ate lek's place is sooo much better now... E-N-V-I-O-U-S! gah. i wish to learn how to use that goddamn photoshhop, but hehheh... never had the patience with all them clickables. there's too many IMO. blah. anyways... love the new look ^^ @ ate lek.

as i was saying... i think i'm falling for this guy i met a few ago... yesterday, in legal terms, pero kaninakina lang nmn yun eh... so there. ok so... he isnt anyone different, or anything.... sorry if i cant tell who the heck he is.... people will tease... [eyes charmy] sides, i doubt they know him anyways. =Þ well... what made me think that? he- he seems different. not in a good sense... just different. i mean i cant be out of love with bee now... can i? maybe i'm just missing him a lot... maybe i'm just losing my mind... maybe my mind is just out of places since we lost contact and all... maybe i'm just dreamy and stuff. coz i miss him... or not... hmmm... probably coz this other person is so much different in many ways... pero very much the same with... no! not him!!! why the hell did his name come to mind? aaahhh!!!!! is this proof that i am losing it????? duh. we lost contact since i left. i doubt he tried to reach me... damn. ok. i didnt try much either, but his mom said he had himself shipped off to their province thing place... and they dont have a phone there. so it's not my fault. or he could atleast write me.... psh. i miss him.... damn u person! mi miss u!!!! i wanted it to rain a whole lot more... but it stopped too soon. the rain reminds me of so many fond, or not so fond memories. i feel light-headed. does this mean i am inlove? considering i dont get lightheaded most of the time coz i think morbid thouights... [dont count on me saying what i think all the time...] BTW to those people who took my test thingie... the real answer to the pissed off question is i dont say anything. i lied. i mean i do say im pissed off or wotnot, pero i dont generally mean it... so there. hehehehe

so, dette; are you inlove with someoen else? ah!!! im not sure about anything anymore!!!!

mused dettie at 12:19 AM [+]
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i was supposed to go to stampede, kaso my mom decided i dont have to. better i guess. sides, how am i s'posed to have fun today? everyone will be all over me... why is ur hair like that? badette take off ur scrunchy. oh, ur hair's on a ponytail again, all my cousins all over me too! ate come with me1 ate come see! ate ate ate!!!! aaaahhh it'll drive me insane!!! just thinking about it unhinges my sanity. aaaaaagh! anyways, i made dinner. it was ok... only a bit burnt. understatement of the year... blah. so i am all on my own o'er here now. mom and dad and trav went to the stampede a few hoours ago, and my sister went with gramma. im all alone^^ yay! its frickin hot. i'm wearing a tank top... i feel naked. but its freakin' hot! i cant stand it! so i changed into something more tolerable. only, i never wear tank tops... and i feel naked. blah... goodie im all on my own. or else i'd die when they see me. blah.

i'm listening to 'fly me to the moon' hmm **dreamy** i love that song. oh, btw, my sister has my avril CD, so i cant hang downstairs and listen to it. looky! im sum 41^^ hehheh... neiweiz, its sooo hot. i already took a freezing shower. blah.. yeah it was freezing. our hot water tank's busted... and i had to take a freezing shower. u'd say it's ok coz it was hot anyways? try taking a bath with ice cold water... or just use the water in the fridge. blah... i was shivering as hell... lol... well it felt good a few minutes after the shower... but its frickin burning hot!!!1 i'll prod the house naked if this keeps up.... [as if] i'd rather roast than pprod around naked. i already feel naked enough and i'm on a tank top... imagine how that would be. aaaah i want this house to be airconditioned!!!!! cheap parents!!!!!!

mused dettie at 8:51 PM [+]
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mused dettie at 7:35 PM [+]
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heehee... no ones's using the 'comments' thingie... lol... BTW its the -adorable smiley- Ü after the [+] yupp; u can make comments on a specific post with that lovely option^^ now, things are starting to get a bit better^^ check out where i got it from by clicking at YACCS there <.<

mused dettie at 9:49 PM [+]
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issues issues... damn !

mused dettie at 4:14 PM [+]
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woosh! i just came up from an agonizing day at 'the daycare' yepp. our house is like a frickin' daycare!!!

there're 10 kids here. i was layin' awake in my bed for the whole morning just because they cant keep their frickin' mouths shut! aaah! it was drivin' me insane! [btw, they woke me up with their annoyingness at 7:30, my gramma and aunt had to go somewheres else, so they junked the kids here. if that isnt bad nuff, my other aunt dropped off the kids at their house here!] can u imagine how it was like? i literally lost it. i was planning on sleeping all day, but who the hell can sleep thru all this racket? so by noon i decided sleep is hopeless, so i got up and watched TV. bla~h. i cant even watch cartoons properly! they were like all over me!

'ate badette, are u that blue guy? i'm wolverine! do u like wolverine?' ate b'dette, can i have a lollipop pls?' 'ate~~~, JJ hit me~~~' 'but it wasn't me because it was it was sam~~' 'no, it wasnt me' no, JJ hit me~~ he's lying!' 'ate, when are we gonna eat?' 'ate im starving~'

OMG!! it was a total riot. everyone is everywhere... my mom is stupid enuff to say yes to both gramma and my other aunt. figures, she's gone off somewhere... now i was gonna be left here on my own with a gazillion of headaches cause my sister was s'possed to see a movie. well, the movie was cancelled, so goodie she can stay here and help me! well, she cleaned up the living room, which was a total wreck! and i had to make lunch for them. that sucked. as in... i cant move properly. our house is too puny, and there's a whole bunch of kids everywhere... this day sucks.

mused dettie at 3:34 PM [+]
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okaaaaay then. i've been thinkin' and i decided i'll keep it. Ü

oh btw there are some weird people out a few ago~ freaky now that i think about it. and again, i opened my door! 'k here's whuttapend.

someone's throwing something at my window..[which is so weird considering in atleast 12 feet from where they supposedly are; and i think theyre throwing 'cornpops'] so i looked out, and there're 4 guys out. i closed my window. but then they were being loud... i dunno wth were they doing then, i was too busy posting at our ml. but i was kinda worried my neighbors might think they're my friends... i dont even know who they are! so i decided to ignore them and if my neighbor calls, i'll fake a sleepy-groggy voice, then say 'what?! i was sleeping...' hehheh.
but then i couldnt take it anymore... i re-opened my window, and lost it

me:: [in a faked groggy voice](damn i am so good at that) wtf-ing hell? who the hell are u?
the one with a cap:: yo come on down. 'partay' with us!
me:: damn go screw off dammit. lemme get some sleep. i dont even know u f-in' losers man... get lost![i slammed my window shut^^]
2 of them 4 folks left, but the other 2 stayed. i was gonna ignore them, but i thought they dont seem so bad. [this is the stupid part; i went down and opened my door! mom and dad arent home, which is partly a good thing, coz they wont believe me when i say i dont know those jerks; bad; coz i opened the door again. this is the second time someone's been here; at the yard and i've let my temper prosper] so yeah... i went down, opened the door, and talked to them.

me:: yo wuddya want? do i even know u? f-ing get lost dammit. when my folks get here u guys'd be dead.
one of them:: wont u come join us then?
me:: no way man... its f-in' late and i dont even know u, sides i need sleep
the other other one:: can we call then?
me:: like u'll have my number... [smirky face i think; hehheh]
them:: we have it...
me:: [confuzzled] eh? [shrug] whatever... just get lost... scram!
the other one:: were goin... bye then... [he freakin' smiled at my annoyed face! the nerve!] then i made a face at them then slammed my door ^^

aint i a smarty kid? even a six-year old knows not to open the door specially when the folks arent home and it's almost midnite. bla~h

mused dettie at 1:10 AM [+]
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hmmm... i might abandon this one soon... --_--' or not Ü well, if this one wont quit giving me troubles... then i'd drop this one. this shitty thing has better work now...

mused dettie at 11:05 PM [+]
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hmmm... my so called life... i'll figure out how to use frickin' photoshop, then my first ever layout made of that will then be 'my so called life' courtesy of charmaine^^ wahahah~

mused dettie at 8:45 PM [+]
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WORD-UP!!!

I've been living an on-line life since ever... I believe it's about time I learn some basic web-designing shit. Well? Yeah I jacked these style sheets from those places down there. <.< [Bla~h... --_--' Errrrgh...] I want to learn how to make photoshop work, you know, how to make my background stuff with itand stuff, and frames, and other codes and stuff... So there. I'll start learning tomorrow.

PS: I'll start typing properly too! Ü

mused dettie at 12:00 AM [+]
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that was so funny~ hehheh.. ah wellz... hmmm...poor abe...troubled by school stuff- too bad. he'll manage that kid. =Þ wellz, i cant think of anything~ oh, i just had charisse's and nikki's results on my 'test' hehheh... they both got the '[issed-off' question. that was a tough one was it? lol hehheh... la lang

mused dettie at 8:46 PM [+]
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hmmm... lemme try out the comment thingie Ü it's daisuke~!

mused dettie at 5:02 PM [+]
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good luck to me! Ü it's not easy to resist the urges of prank-ism when it's right there... for keeps. dammit! if he wasnt so stupid as to accidentally [probably] click my e-add, i wouldnt know that he likes this girl!!! then i wouldnt have to resist making another issue around him... sides the issue that everyone calls him 'gay' weheheheh now, now... hey that wasnt my fault. i didnt even encourage it!!! and it made them do it all the more. hahahaha! yeah fine sue me. but they have no iea what the phooey im posting here.. and they dont have their names here... good thing they dont know i have a blog in the first-est place... and they dont know im making fun of them hehheh...

generally, i'm little miss quiet kid with evil thoughts. [y'know? the passive aggressive thingie?] i'm ussually quiet. and i do not have any friends what-so-ever. but to the few people i do talk to... [mind you, they're not in the so called cool popular group] i tend to be pretty drastic with things i say... and they'd say... hahhah! and we thought she's NICE! definitely they're just kidding. they do think im nice... [which i am... walang kokontra!] they know im just having fun; goofing-off in a sort-of deranged way. hehheh. and what kind of a person would be able to resist the charms of an exceedingly annoying brat who couldn't say anything worth hearing and is sardonically insane most of the time? ah! the irony! Ü

that's exactly why people love me!!! Ü shuttup --_--' hehheh

mused dettie at 3:44 PM [+]
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i dont think i'd sleep early again... i slept at 6 am this morning.. hey but i wasnt online. i was reading this old romance novel of my aunt's. c'mon it was on a ruggedly handsome man.. and this pretty lady.. so there. anyways... charisse told me about this poetry site, i linked it over there. >.> so yeah. i've read some poems from there... and most of them i liked. and i also posted some of my old poems there. pity there's a limit U_U hehheh... i'll be reading the book on that ruggedly handsome guy person again.. till i get sick of it. hahhah... before i sleep. so yeah. or if i get sleepy earlier; well, i'd want to sleep early... ya know... more time for dreamy thoughts... heehee.. dammit. obssession freak.

mused dettie at 11:57 PM [+]
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ROMEO He jests at scars that never felt a wound.
[JULIET appears above at a window]
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief,
That thou her maid art far more fair than she:
Be not her maid, since she is envious;
Her vestal livery is but sick and green
And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.
It is my lady, O, it is my love!
O, that she knew she were!
She speaks yet she says nothing: what of that?
Her eye discourses; I will answer it.
I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks:
Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,
Having some business, do entreat her eyes
To twinkle in their spheres till they return.
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars,
As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven
Would through the airy region stream so bright
That birds would sing and think it were not night.
See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
O, that I were a glove upon that hand,
That I might touch that cheek!

JULIET Ay me!

ROMEO She speaks:
O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art
As glorious to this night, being o'er my head
As is a winged messenger of heaven
Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes
Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him
When he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds
And sails upon the bosom of the air.

JULIET O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I'll no longer be a Capulet.

ROMEO [Aside] Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?

JULIET 'Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself.

ROMEO I take thee at thy word:
Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized;
Henceforth I never will be Romeo.


aint that ever so sweet? heehee.. well i found this site on his plays.. so i managed to copy this.. ob viously there are more parts of this play i so love.. but then.. im too lazy posting... coz i'd have to do certain thingies to it just so it'd look good on the blog page as well. so there now.

mused dettie at 10:27 PM [+]
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wahahaha~ talk about funny stuff. i've been having issues about being one of the bad guys in my community... lol well, i was a bit surprised to see the chatters' board shut. lol.. i knew this was coming.. hehhehheh still, i cant help it.. it's like...'i cant deal with them i better keep this under control by keeping it shut for now' i mean that is just so stupid

mused dettie at 9:53 PM [+]
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i was droppin' by folks' blogs, as i always do generally, and i came upon aaron's. [which is, thank GOD not dead.] i was reading along, and there came this issue on being illogical war-freaks. well, i daresay, i am. and i dont care, but then... since most of my gang are involved... i must admit i felt terribly racked. u know? it's as if kuya jino does think us as awful people. we might've been, i know... but we were provoked to a certain extent. as for being an LC, whatever's the case, it is just a fun-name some friend made up. well, it wasnt such a controversy untill 'someone' proclaimed it as one. if that wasnt reason for us to react [i'm not posing our acts were entirely smart, for we might have been quite 'mean and harsh and totally thoughtless' of how they'd take us for] still, it seemed wrong. kasi, di nmn dapat ganon diba? for one, if it wasnt said na 'ganito-ganyan, LC's are the one's responsible for this blah-blah, coz i'm an LC too and blah-blah... and i dont care if you dont believe me blah blah basta i know i am an LC blah blah... Hindi nyo ko naalala blah blah coz wala nmn kayo nun blah blah blah blah yadda yadda~' gee. would you atleast get rather annoyed? i mean, why claim to be someone ur not? tapos papalabasin pa na we are the ones being totally evil kasi we were asking for proof. now that sucked. there is no deal about being an LC, and i dont care. i am a newbie. so there. that cant be so bad now can it? its no big deal. as kuya jino said, it is just nothing. easy for him to say... he wasnt there... isa pa, they said something, threatened about being violent sa EB. toward a friend... [gela] will u just shove-it-off, or react kasi they'd gang up on someone... madami nga daw kasing galit, 'samin' sakin. sabi nya... well i dont care if they do hate me... pero sa lahat lng ng ayaw ko, eh yung palalabasin nila na we were the ones who made this issue. siguro we had mistakes at it. we did. hindi siguro... for sure we did. maybe we've gone over board? so who hasnt? naiinis lang ako. bla~h

mused dettie at 5:49 PM [+]
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